I laughed, shrugging. “But surprisingly, it didn’t change who I am. You know you can be a badass and still have a bad day, who knew?” I leaned forward, nodding in surprise. “And I’m working on the patience thing too, more so with myself than anyone else.”
It was more honest than I usually was, but I didn’t regret it. Apart from the bond we shared of my psycho ex, there was something about her that I just liked. Maybe because I could see that fight in her too, and I wanted to be around it.
“So you might as well agree, Hayden. I’m not known to back down.”
I felt like I was back in Jared’s Mustang, my hands locked around the steering wheel and my foot planted on the gas.
The smile edged wider on her lips, and I knew she wasn’t going to turn me down. “Okay, I’m in. But I still want to take those college classes as well. If I’m going to do this, I don’t want to half-ass the effort.”
“I’d expect nothing less.”
We hugged again, sealing the deal, and it occurred to me we hadn’t even discussed important things like income and benefits. I guess that told me that she trusted me too, which made me feel even better.
I handed her a contract I had already prepared and told her to go home, read it and bring it back when she was ready to start. I had a hunch it wouldn’t be long, expecting to see her in the next week.
“So, you going to sneak to the firehouse and go fuck your hot boyfriend before we open?” Raelle waltzed in, not bothering to knock since Hayden had left the door open. “Because if we’re taking a poll, that’s where my vote will go.”
I rolled my eyes. “I am not going to go have sex at the firehouse. I don’t want our first time to be a quickie in public.”
Shit.
Of all the things I’d meant to share, that hadn’t been one. I blamed all the extra talking I’d done in therapy, my lock a little looser on my emotions than it used to be.
Raelle narrowed her eyes, pointing a finger accusingly. “What do you mean your first time? You’ve had sex before. Jesus, you had sex in this office, and God knows where else. I’m surprised we haven’t had a visit from the Health Department.”
“It’s been a while, okay. No big deal. We’re just going through a little dry spell.”
What I hadn’t told Rae was that I’d previously used sex as a coping strategy, a distraction. Which initially I thought was a good plan until I realized how that must feel for Jared. And in case I had any doubts, my therapist recommended that I didn’t have sex, dealing with things in other ways and abstaining for a while. The woman was crazy, had she not seen how hot my boyfriend was? How the hell was I supposed to keep my hands off that? But me and my big mouth had casually mentioned it to Jared, and suddenly we weren’t having sex.
It was a challenge, the imposed embargo making me want it even more. Jared didn’t cave, digging deep with his willpower and not backing down. Not even when I gave him a lap dance, almost getting myself off with the bulge in his pants. Instead he kissed me, told me how hot I was making him and went and jerked off in the shower.
“A dry spell, what are we talking? A few days? A week?” Raelle asked, ignoring the boundaries most people had.
I cringed, clearing my throat as I announced, “a month.”
“A month? You haven’t had sex in a month?” she shouted. You know, in case Hank at the bar needed to hear about the sexual habits of his boss.
“Keep your voice down,” I hushed, grabbing her arm and giving it a squeeze. “I shouldn’t even be talking about this with you.”
Deciding not to tempt fate any further, I moved to the door and closed it. Not sure it mattered much anymore, the damage had already been done. “And lots of couples take a break. Not everyone is screwing like fucking rabbits all the time.”
Raelle scoffed, taking a step back as she screwed up her face in disgust. “Well, the smart ones are. And I can say this because you know I love you and it comes from in here.” She tapped her heart. “But the two of you are both hot. Like if there was a porno