that doesn’t stop me from being flustered.
“You know how wild her imagination is. Plus, she’s suddenly going through a hardcore Disney phase. She’s obsessed with Prince Charming and the whole ‘true love’s first kiss’ nonsense.”
Someone throw me a shovel because it seems I’m digging a hole for myself. But I’m not lying this time, at least, because since we walked back into the apartment last Monday to find the maid’s room had been cordoned off like a crime scene and an envelope with Lulu’s name embossed on the front. Or rather, Princess Eloise Rose. The contents of the envelope proved to be an invitation to view a room on the other side of the apartment, a room fit for a princess. I’d barely gotten to the end of the message when she’d taken off like a rocket, her squeal of delight echoing through the place.
I found myself standing on the threshold of a room that, in the space of eight hours, had been completely transformed. I won’t pretend to know why a man we barely know took it upon himself to arrange a complete redecoration of one of the bedrooms of his home, or even hazard how much it cost. Because it’s truly beautiful. Decorated in hues of lilacs and blues—no gaudy pink for this room—a gold coronet sits above an antique-style bed with swathes of gauzy fabric falling from it. The whole room has a French feel to it, from the chandelier that sparkles like diamonds to the walls panelled to look like Versailles. It’s beautiful, and Lulu loves it so very much. And I’ve no idea how I’m going to make it up to her when I take it away.
“I hope you told my homegirl she has to wait until she’s older to find her one true love?”
I find myself wondering if it’s the princess’s bedroom or that she saw Carson almost kiss me that’s made her a little romance obsessed. Though perhaps being pressed against the kitchen cabinet isn’t everyone’s idea of romance.
Unless you’ve been enlightened.
“Thirty,” I answer eventually. “I told her she has to be thirty before she’s allowed to date.”
“Did you tell her she might have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding her Prince?”
“Some of us never get past the frog stage.”
“Don’t tell her that.” I can’t quite make out if her tone is sad or disappointed. Maybe a little of both.
“But the point I was trying to make is that Lulu isn’t looking for her Prince Charming. It’s me she seems desperate to set up.” I pause and take a mouthful of Lulu’s abandoned milk as I contemplate telling her about what happened at school yesterday. Why the hell not? “So yesterday, I went to pick Lu up from school to find her holding one of the teacher’s hands. A male teacher, that is.” Mr Farrow. “She introduced us, and before I knew it, she started to relay my life story to him, pretty much selling my good points to him like a mini madam in a brothel.” Rose sets off laughing, and I can’t help but join her. “God, it was mortifying!”
“I think it’s kinda cute, better still if the was teacher’s cute, too.”
“Yes, well, it was cute when she told him how lovely I am and how I make a very tasty sandwich and that I sometimes even cut them into little triangles. But it was less than cute when she informed him I have very big boobs and that my bottom isn’t really getting saggy like I think it is.”
“Oh my, that kid is hilarious!”
“She’s a bloody nightmare more like.”
“But was he cute? This teacher, I mean?”
“Not bad, I suppose. Not that it matters.” It also doesn’t matter that he gave me his number because I’m not going to do anything with it.
“Not even when it’s obvious Lulu likes him?”
“That’s . . .” Very sticky ground especially as, on the way home, she told me she thought Mr Farrow wasn’t as handsome as Carson. “That’s not the point.”
“Then what is? Listen to the kid!”
“Look, if I did what Lulu wanted, we’d be living in a pink tepee in the middle of Central Park, not brushing our hair or washing our faces and living on cake and custard. So the answer is no, I’m not going to go out with him. If for no other reason than he didn’t ask.”
“Lu had better get on to that, then.”
“Don’t give her any ideas.” I chuckle.
But Rose falls quiet, and when she next