Mia didn’t want to talk anymore. She wanted him.
“Ethan, maybe you should take me back to Luke’s.”
“Why?” he questioned, his head slowly rolling so he could see her.
“I can’t stop staring at your neck,” she answered all too honestly.
He lifted his head and almost looked predatory. “Definitely not taking you back now.”
“I need to think.”
Leaning into her, he pushed her into the sofa. “Think tomorrow,” he whispered against her cheek, completely overpowering her senses.
“Ethan …”
“Do you want me?” he asked, gazing into her eyes.
“Yes! But—”
“It’s not wrong. I’m still your husband.”
Yes, he was her husband … until she decided differently. “Do you want me?” she asked, basically telling him she had her own doubts. They both doubted that they were wanted. How had this happened? Sex had always been a large part of their relationship … until it wasn’t. And when it wasn’t, their relationship suffered.
“I do. So very much.”
She quickly wiped at the tears in her eyes. “I can’t believe you didn’t think I wanted you, that I was having an affair with Todd. Ethan, all I ever wanted was you.”
Ethan
Despite everything, Mia still wanted to have sex with him. He wasn’t stupid. He knew she was using it to hide—it wouldn’t be the first time, he’d come to realize.
“Ethan, please,” she murmured passionately against his neck, lifting her hips into his and grinding that pussy of hers along his cock. Moving her lips along his jaw, she lightly kissed his cheek, the same one that she’d slapped. She’d surprised him with her strength. It had hurt more than when Luke punched him. He had a feeling it was because his wife was doing the hitting and had all her pain behind it—the pain he’d caused her.
He watched her eyes on his face and saw the instant the desire changed to a desperate need.
“Ethan, please make the pain go away,” his wife begged him, unbuttoning his pants. In all their years together, he’d never seen this side of her, the way she begged him, the desperation. When they were in bed together, there was always confidence with a bit of humor tossed in. He’d tarnished that. Because he thought Mia was cheating on him. If only he would have talked to her—outright asked her. What a fucking fool!
They should talk more now, but the look in her eyes … he didn’t know what to do. “Mia,” he said.
“It’s either with you or …” she stopped, her eyes falling away from his. “You decide. But I need the pain to stop.”
Or what? Another man? Drugs? Alcohol? He didn’t know what the “or” meant, but studying her face right now, he saw the pain he’d caused, the seriousness of her words. He remembered the time when she was stuck in New York over Christmas. She was upset and had told him that she was getting drunk. He didn’t believe her and did she ever get shit-faced. And when he’d told her he hadn’t believed that she’d get drunk, she’d said to him, “I always mean what I say, suga.”
Damn, she meant what she said. She would find a way to take away the pain.
They would not survive if she slept with someone else. And not because of his feelings but because of hers. The guilt would eat her alive. Hell, he was unsure if they were even going to survive this. He didn’t even want to think about if she chose alcohol or drugs. So he leaned closer to her and softly kissed her lips.
“I want it to be me.”
If he wasn’t mistaken, he thought he saw relief cross her face. Whatever she wanted him to do, he’d do. He needed to make this right. He had to take away her pain, prove how much he loved her. It would take time, knowing her. It had already been a month. He was encouraged that she hadn’t presented him with divorce papers. It could still happen, but he was determined for it not to come to pass.
Rising from the sofa, he offered her his hand. “Let’s go.”
The next morning, Ethan woke up and immediately knew his wife wasn’t in bed with him. He called out for her, hoping she was in the bathroom or the closet, but there was no answer. Maybe she was with the boys. Jumping out of bed, he threw on his shorts and shirt, and walked down the hall to the twins’ room. The boys were still sleeping soundly but she was not there.
He hurried down the stairs,