Never Give Up - Heidi Lis Page 0,59
rearing its ugly head, he’s even telling him how much I embarrassed them. Ouch!
Matt’s relaxed behavior has taken on a sudden change as he’s now swearing and kicking the grass. He’s in disbelief. It’s one thing to know he has a nephew, but hearing how my parents felt towards me is chilling in itself. He’s struggling to catch a breath with his hands on his knees. He’s visibly shaken to his core.
Walking up to my dad, Micah’s mellow mood is gone, replaced with bewilderment. “Are you serious? It was my kid you were talking about, let alone your daughter. I loved her, she was everything to me!” He says deadpan.
Not backing down, my dad strikes back. “Funny way of showing it.” He’s pushing Micah’s buttons and I wish he would just, shut the hell up. I wouldn’t blame Micah for taking a swing at dear old dad.
“Yeah,” Micah asks him. “You think you know me or what I had to do?… you don’t.” Turning his body, the look I get from Micah scares me shitless. It’s like he just ate something sour. “So what Elsa, you got rid of my kid… you aborted it?”
I froze not sure if I’m mortified or shellshocked?
I’ll go with utterly shocked. And sickened. Stumbling to my knees, I feeling like the wind was just knocked out of me. My chest constricts while I grab my throat struggling to breathe. “WHAT, you think I got an abortion?” That idea is so vile I taste it in the back of my throat. He believes that’s what I did. It must be because the look he is giving me—says it all. His anger is because he thinks I got rid of his child. Of all the things, this is the lowest I’ve ever been. Losing Micah, giving up Michael, none of it compares to how I feel right now. This is a new low.
Through tear filled eyes, I drift my gaze between each and every one of them. Matt, who I thought might understand me the most, looks uncomfortable at best. His eyes look helpless. My mother is chatting in my dad’s ear. I don’t even get their attention it seems. Then lastly, I hold my breath to look directly at Micah. He’s detached from any emotion, he simply is studying me. My look, my body language, any sign or clue.
Eyes raised, he roars, “Well, where is my kid then?”
It’s hard not to hate him with everything I got right now. I understand he’s dealing with emotions he has no clue how to handle, but he keeps pushing me and pushing me. If we were alone, that would be one thing. But, to do it here with my parents…it’s not the right time or place for this.
Oh My God! His lack of having a normal conversation with me pisses me off. Like now, he’s carrying on with his theatrical groaning, and continual questions. He never pauses enough for me to answer. Okay, Micah you want it right now…well fine!
On wobbly legs I go to stand. “Fuck you, Micah. Maybe if I knew how to get in touch with you, I would have told you. I had NO ONE! NO, ONE!” I scream so loud, my damn throat cracks. I can’t keep up with wiping away my tears, so I let them fall. I’m focused on enlightening Micah. He wanted this. “I was ALL ALONE, my parents were embarrassed by me, their daughter. I was forced to live with my aunt for six months. I had to give him up for adoption and then return home to tell everyone I was on a six-month vacation.” Retelling my past feels like it should be someone else’s horrid past, but sadly it’s mine. Makes it that much more vile.
“Jesus Christ,” Matt says under his breath.
“What the hell?” Micah can barely form the words. “This is so fucked up.” He wipes his face with his hands, in disbelief, and shock most likely
“All this time…” He stops mid-sentence, searching my eyes. He’s looking for the right words to say. I can see the fight in his eyes. He wants to comfort me, but he also needs to come to terms with the fact he has a child. He’s just not handling the news well.
Throwing his hands in the air, he shakes his head. Anger washes over him once again. “I’ve got to get out of here,” he says flustered, anxious even. “Elsa, you should have gone to my parents. If they had known