hand on it. But my hands were not big enough to encircle the wood. It was a big bed--at least king size.
"What's wrong, Anita?"
I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it."
"I'm sorry. I will be good. I promise."
"No more teasing?" I asked.
He tried to stay serious, but a smile crept through. "I'd promise no more teasing if I thought I could live up to it, but I will promise to try and not tease you anymore today. How's that?"
I had to smile. "Honest, I guess." I sat down on the edge of the bed.
"You seem lost tonight," he said.
It was so close to what I was thinking that I turned and looked at him. "Is it that obvious?"
"Only to someone who knows you."
"Do you know me that well, Jason?"
"Sometimes. And sometimes you are totally confusing to me."
I pulled back the covers and crawled under the sheet, pushing the heavy satin coverlet away from me. I'd left a lot of distance between me and Jason. I slid my gun under the nearest pillow, safety on. And for extra precaution, since I was sleeping with non-gun users, no bullets were in the chamber.
"Honest, Anita, I'll behave myself, you can move closer."
"I know."
"And not just because Jean-Claude and Richard wouldn't like it."
"Richard isn't dating me anymore, Jason. He's not mine anymore." Just saying it out loud made my skin colder, my stomach clench tight.
"He may say that, but if he found out I tried anything tonight, anything serious, he'd make me pay for it."
"What do you mean?"
"He may not be dating you, but I'll bet my favorite body part that he wouldn't tolerate you dating any of the other werewolves. Him not being able to have you isn't the same thing as not wanting you."
I looked at him, sheet-covered knees hugged to my chest. "When did you get so smart?"
"I have my moments."
I had to smile. "Yeah, you do."
We were both smiling when Nathaniel came out of the bathroom. "Hit the lights, Nathaniel."
Nathaniel did what I asked, and the blackness was complete. The lights were on a timer and would come on softly in a few hours. But until then it was a darkness so complete it was like being dropped in ink. I'm not usually bothered by darkness, but just then it was claustrophobic, like some giant black hand pressing against me.
I felt Nathaniel by the bed. "Please, turn on the bathroom light, leave the door ajar." He went back and did it. One of the good things about Nathaniel was he didn't question orders much. It used to bug me. Now I counted on it, sometimes.
He left the door open a crack, just enough to let a slender finger of light fall into the room and slant along the bed.
Nathaniel lifted the sheet and crawled into bed without a word. But him crawling in meant I had to move over closer to Jason. I found the gun and moved it down a pillow with me. But Nathaniel didn't crowd me, and there was still space between us when we all tucked in for the night. Not as much space as I'd have liked, but still space. In fact I was able to roll over onto my side without bumping anyone. Of course, that wasn't how I slept at home. At home Nathaniel and the rest of the wereleopards cuddled into big piles. I'd slept most of the last six months among them. It was, sadly, getting to the point that when I slept alone I felt lonely.
Nathaniel had rolled automatically onto his side, his back to me, waiting for me to close the distance between us. He'd already moved his hair to one side like a blanket that had to be moved out of the way, leaving his back and part of his neck smooth and bare. I lay there for a second or two, then thought, screw it. I moved in against him, pressing myself to the smooth warmth of his body, my arm sliding around his waist. He was just a few inches taller than me, enough that I cuddled down just a little, pressing my face into his back, in the hollow behind his shoulder blade. It was the way we'd gone to sleep for a long time.
"Now I do feel left out," Jason said.
I sighed, clutching Nathaniel a little tighter. "Do you promise not to try anything?"
"I promise to be good."
"That's not what I asked."
He gave a small laugh. "You're better than you used