from my voice.
Someone’s behind me. Warm hands lift me under my shoulders, hauling me to my feet. It doesn’t feel comforting with Noah bearing down on me. It makes me feel weak.
I’m not weak.
“Fuck, Mackenzie, I’m so sorry.” Gabriel’s silky voice caresses my ear. A note of distress creeps into his words. But it’s an act. I know it’s a fucking act. Gabriel pulls pain out his ass on stage every night, and we all believe it’s real.
I believed it was real.
I shrug Gabriel off me. I realize too late that one of my heels broke in the fall. I pitch forward. I throw out my hands and steady myself on the only thing that will break my fall – Noah. I grab his shoulders, my wet body pressing against him. I feel the warmth of his skin through my sodden outfit.
His entire body stiffens under my touch, and I imagine even his heart shriveling in his chest. This close, I catch a whiff of Noah’s deep, inky scent – shadowed and strange and tinged with salt and jasmine. Noah’s breath hisses out between clenched teeth, and something hard presses against my thigh.
An erection.
He’s hard.
I think I’ve imagined it, but no. I freeze in place, and his cock grazes my naked thigh, giving a little jerk like a nod of approval. Noah’s hard as a rod.
For me.
“No one wants you at school, at our parties.” Noah’s lips press against my earlobe. His hatred stains my skin. “Not after what you did.”
“I was thirteen when your brother died,” I whisper back, my lips grazing his ear in return. I enjoy the way his body squirms. “I had such a crush on you. It’s on every page of my diary, your name and mine circled in broken hearts.”
On impulse, I reach down and cup him through his pants. I know people must see this, but I don’t care – this moment is for Noah and me alone. This is our battle of wills.
Noah’s body tenses, coiling in on itself like a snake eating its own tail. A strangled cry escapes his lips.
I am Mackenzie Malloy, and I can make even my enemies hard for me.
I rub his cock through his pants, and he squirms in this delicious way.
“Fuck you, Mackenzie,” Noah rasps. He doesn’t move, even as his cock jerks in my hand. “Stay away from me, or you’ll wish you’d never been born.”
And something about pressing my body against him, feeling every plane and curve of his muscled frame while I’m dripping wet in a ruined costume, breaks me. I know he’s seen behind my mask, into the bruises that stain my soul. And I want to bruise him, too.
My fist grips his cock, holding him against me. I lift my knee and drive it hard into his balls.
24
Noah
Fuck.
Fuck.
25
Mackenzie
I walk home, shivering, in bare feet.
Noah bellows a string of curses that follow me all the way to Malloy Manor. I revel in the feel of his body crumpling against me as he doubled over. The sight of his beautiful eyes bugged out and his face twisted in pain will comfort me on dark nights.
I spend the rest of the weekend playing with Queen Boudica in the ballroom of my blood-stained house. Gabriel calls me twice, but I don’t answer. I can’t face him. I put on my favorite Octavia’s Ruin album and blast it at top volume. I listen to him sing the stars and the rain, and I let a single tear fall into Queen Boudica’s fur.
I think about Noah, and about his cock grinding against me even as he spat words of hatred in my ear. And I think that even if there was a sliver of a chance we might burn up in each other’s hatred, it’s gone now.
The dread of school on Monday sits heavy on my skin. I consider staying home, but I know I can’t avoid them forever, and I can’t risk truancy officers coming here to look for me.
My phone pings. Even though I don’t have social media, I have alerts set up on my name. Hundreds of photographs of my wet, bedraggled ass flood my feed, making it outside of the Stonehurst circle to celebrity gossip sites. The comments scroll past. Bitch. Skank. She looks like trailer trash. Did you see her with Noah? She threw herself at him even though he hates her. How desperate can you get?
I hate them.
They’re right.
I hate myself.
I press my palms into my eyes. Why did I