I thought all the books I’ve read would help me muddle through this year, but now I see school isn’t about knowing the information but presenting it in a certain way that’s completely alien to me, and I’m freaking out that my inability to craft an essay is going to be my downfall in a horrible and bloody way.
“My brother is dead. My mother killed herself because of what your family did, and you still think all you have to do is bat your eyelashes and the world will fall down to worship you. That shit may work on Eli and Gabe, but not with me.” Noah stands up. “I don’t need this. We’re done.”
“You haven’t tutored me!”
“If you flunk out, I’ll be doing this school a favor.” Noah’s eyes blaze with triumph. “Goodbye, Mackenzie. Have fun failing. I hope this is the last time I have to endure your presence.”
19
Mackenzie
My days at Stonehurst Prep fade together into a torrent of misery. When I first sent in my faked transcripts and signed the enrollment forms, I prepared myself to be ignored. Years living alone in that house of secrets will do that to you. Hell, I built myself a mega-bitch Ice Queen persona to keep the peons away. But I knew now I couldn’t fade into the background – the whispers, the leering looks from the guys, the notes left on my locker describing cruel sexual acts, the Photoshopped pornography tacked to every noticeboard and saved to every lockscreen is only the beginning. Mackenzie Malloy is made of shadows and secrets. She doesn’t fit. We have to destroy her.
Alec LeMarque’s eyes follow me everywhere, devouring my body in a way that makes me squirm. He’s not finished with me yet.
But not even he is as terrifying as Noah – the dark-haired god whose hatred could carve out my heart and pound it to rubble. Loathing rolls off his body in waves, threatening to sweep me away. Hatred like that can be intoxicating – I know, because I already had a gallon of it surging through my bloodstream.
I’ve only seen George once since we ate our lunch together under the bleachers. She was heading down the hall toward the Art suite. I waved and called out to her, but either she didn’t hear me or the wrathful gaze of Noah and Alec as they headed the other way silenced her. She slammed her locker and ran the other way.
That hurt more than I’ll ever admit. I lost a friend before I even knew what one was.
I wish I was smart so at least the schoolwork could be a distraction, but my F in history is my top grade so far. I wish I had college applications and tests to focus on, so at least my days would have meaning. I struggle through the classes, barely understanding a word my teachers say. It’s like they’re speaking a foreign language. I’ve finally learned what’s come of not setting foot inside a learning institution since I was thirteen. Some days, I debate taking Gabriel up on his offer to tutor me, even though I know he’s barely a better student than I am.
There are only two bright spots in my days. Ms. Drysdale teaches history and political science. She’s young – mid-twenties I think, and with her short, trendy haircut and band tee shirts peeking out from beneath mens’ blazers with the sleeves rolled up, she has this punk rock pixie vibe that’s refreshing in this stuck-up school. She looks like someone I’d want to be friends with, in another life, when I could choose my friends.
She has a way of making history come alive. I lean forward on my elbows and listen with rapt attention as she talks about the Founding Fathers, or the Tudor Kings, or the Spanish Inquisition. I find myself nodding along with the familiar stories I’ve read, and devouring the extra reading lists she gives us.
The other bright spot is homeroom and chemistry class with Gabriel. He doesn’t seem to care that everyone else at this school hates me. He makes flirty conversation and fucks up every single assignment. But most importantly, he makes me laugh. I relish it, knowing that with him, at least, my laughter doesn’t come at a price.
After class Gabriel always offers to walk me to my locker, but I know Eli will be there, waiting with his kind smile and intense eyes, and I can’t deal with that remnant of the old Mackenzie, so