My Rebound (On My Own #2) - Carrie Ann Ryan Page 0,74

adore her or think she wasn’t my friend but because I didn’t want to hurt her.

“It’s nothing. I’ll deal with it. But thank you.”

“Don’t lie to me. What’s wrong with you?” Nessa shook her head. “What’s wrong? You can talk to me. I promise.”

I swallowed hard. “Pacey’s going through a lot, and I think he just broke up with me,” I said, my voice oddly hollow.

Nessa sighed and held out her arms. “Come on, let me hold you.”

“I don’t want it to be weird for you. I’ve hated that this has been weird for you for a month now. Probably longer. I didn’t know, Nessa. I swear. I didn’t realize until it was too late, and I didn’t want to bring it up because I didn’t want to hurt you. I don’t. And now I’m doing it anyway, and I’m so sorry.”

Nessa gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand. “It’s not your fault that you fell in love with Pacey Ziglar. You’re not alone there,” she said.

“Damn it, Nessa. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love. But I did. I haven’t even been able to tell him. And maybe I should have, but perhaps it’s good that I didn’t. Because now it won’t hurt as much if this is over. Baring my soul and aching for someone who doesn’t love me will only hurt worse in the end. It was only supposed to be a rebound. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love again. I thought I had my entire future planned out, and now, everything’s unraveling. School, my summer internship, possibly my future. Everything I thought I had with Sanders. It’s all gone; somehow got tangled up in Pacey. I thought maybe I could make things work, but now I think I’m just one more thing that’s too much for him.”

I tried to stop the sobs as the words tumbled out, but Nessa continued holding me, rubbing her hand up and down my back to soothe us both.

“Pacey is good at keeping things to himself. He’s good at making sure everyone else has what they need, even if they don’t realize it’s what’s needed. But he doesn’t share every part of himself. He doesn’t talk about Corinne with me,” she whispered. My eyes filled with tears, and she continued.

“I know you feel weird when we bring her up, but you also bring her up because I know you’re on the same page with us in keeping her memory alive.”

I hugged Nessa, knowing she was in just as much—perhaps even more—pain. “Of course. I liked Corinne, too. And, yes, sometimes I feel like the fourth wheel or as if I’m taking her spot, but I’m not.” I added quickly.

Nessa gave me a small smile. “We all know that. And we’re making new memories in this home. Together. And, Pacey? They were friends, just like he and I are friends. But I made the lousy decision to fall in love with him. Or maybe I fell in love with the guy I thought he was. Because if I truly loved him, shouldn’t he have noticed?”

“Guys can be stupid,” I added, and she gave me a wry smile.

“That is true. I need to talk with Pacey, eventually. Because I miss my friend. But I don’t want you to ever think that I would stand in the way of you two. I’ve seen how he looks at you. The way you look at him. There’s something there. A happiness that I could never have with him.”

“Nessa...” I began, my heart threatening to shatter into a million pieces. She shook her head.

“I know what falling for Pacey feels like, and I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like I hated you or wanted to push you away or made you feel bad for loving him. My feelings are my responsibility. Pacey will get his head out of his ass, take a deep breath, and realize what he did. It’s not over between you two—it can’t be.”

“I don’t know what’s between us. What it should have been, or what it turned into. This semester has been a lot, Nessa. And it’s only been a few months. Maybe he’s right? Maybe space will help.”

I was crying now, and Nessa squeezed my hand. “Maybe it’ll all work out. We have to believe that. Because Pacey is my best friend, even if things are weird right now. And he loves you, I know it.”

I wanted to believe her. Wanted to believe everything she was saying.