My Rebound (On My Own #2) - Carrie Ann Ryan Page 0,73

time he couldn’t breathe, I’d watched him fight to live as he rode next to me in the ambulance. “Pacey...is it something else? Talk to me.”

He shook his head. “I can’t focus, Mackenzie. I can’t be the person you need me to be. Hell, I shouldn’t have been that person anyway.”

I swallowed hard, my chin rising, my blood turning to ice. “You don’t mean that.”

“We were supposed to be together for what? A night? I was supposed to be your rebound. And look what I did, I clung, like I always do. And now you’re here, dealing with my shit when you have enough to deal with on your own. How have I helped you? How have I done anything for you other than pull you down and stand in your way? I even took your access to an internship. I did all of that.”

I stiffened, my breaths coming in pants as I tried not to panic. “No, you didn’t. Why are you saying things like this? It doesn’t make any sense.”

Pacey ran his hands through his hair and continued to pace. I didn’t know if the other guys were upstairs listening or if they were out, but I couldn’t focus on them right now. I could only stare at Pacey and acknowledge that I didn’t understand why he was pushing me away.

“I think we’re past a rebound, Mackenzie. You need to go and figure out who you’re going to be, just like you planned. You told me yourself that you figured you should be single someday. Even before you asked me to be your rebound, you said you needed to figure out who you are. Yet, here I am, standing in your way. You should leave before one of us gets hurt.”

“That’s not how this works, Pacey.” I knew I was repeating myself, but I couldn’t think of what else to say. If I left...would it be forever? Would this be the end? A break? A moment to breathe? I didn’t know.

“Maybe it’s how it should be. You should go, Mackenzie. Save yourself. Escape my drama. You have enough, and I couldn’t help you. I can’t even help myself.” He looked at me, then shook his head. “All I do is hurt people. Nessa, my roommates. I keep secrets, I try to protect myself, and I think I’m protecting others, but all I do is hurt them.”

“Then why are you trying to hurt me now?” I asked and swallowed hard, annoyed that my voice broke.

“I’m not. I’m trying to help you.”

“You’re doing a shitty job.” I looked at him then, saw how still he was, so withdrawn. He wasn’t going to listen to me. He wasn’t going to do anything. He was hurting, and there was nothing I could do right now. But he was right; everything around us was twisted and broken. I couldn’t help him. Not yet.

“I’m not going away forever,” I whispered.

Relief and pain flashed in his eyes. I wanted to reach out, but I knew he would push me away again. And, honestly, I didn’t know if I was strong enough to handle that. Not after Sanders. And I knew I couldn’t do it for Pacey at all. Not when he meant so much more than Sanders ever did.

But Pacey didn’t say anything. Instead, he just stood there and stared at me, looking so lost. And there was nothing I could do. So, I turned and I made my way to my car.

Pacey didn’t come for me.

He didn’t follow.

I didn’t know how I made it back to the house. My tears fell freely, and I wiped them away furiously, annoyed that I’d even let them fall. This wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be. Pacey was hurt, lashing out. Something he never did. And he wasn’t letting me help.

But I would. I had to find a way.

I staggered inside, swallowed hard, and ran into Nessa. She looked at me, her eyes wide, and she put her hands on my shoulders. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Pacey,” I blurted, choking on my sobs.

“Is he okay? Oh my God, do we have to go back to the hospital?”

I shook my head, rolled my shoulders back, and told myself to get it together.

“No, he’s fine. At least, I think so. Physically, at least. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Nessa moved forward, alarm and worry carved on her features. “What’s wrong?”

I wiped my tears and pulled away. Nessa was the last person I should talk to. Not because I didn’t