My Maddie (Hades Hangmen #8) - Tillie Cole Page 0,115

at Ash’s hair. It was the same color.

Maddie’s eyes… I imagined Beatrix with Maddie’s eyes. My fucking heart squeezed. I loved Maddie’s eyes. They were the only eyes I could ever meet. The only eyes that didn’t see me as wrong or retarded. What… what if Beatrix was the same? Could I meet her eyes too? I didn’t know. I hadn’t even fucking tried.

“Don’t let him win.” Ash flicked his second smoke to the ground. He took out a hip flask. I shook my head when he offered it to me. He took a long swallow. “Don’t let our old man win. You push Maddie and your kid away, then that cunt wins. Even in fucking death he tortures our lives.” Ash tipped his head back and closed his eyes. “But you got a family now, Flame. Maddie needs you. Beatrix needs you even more.”

Needs me… she needs me more…

I looked down at my wrists, at the veins I could see. “You won’t hurt her. There’s no fucking way you would hurt her.” Ash exhaled. “Plus, she’s your kid. If you do have flames in your blood, if Maddie’s wrong and they’re bad, then Trixie will be immune.” My head snapped up to my brother.

I made myself fucking look into his black eyes. “What do you mean?”

“You made her. She’s half you. Your flames won’t hurt her.” I gasped. I fucking gasped as Ash said that. Was he right? Was he fucking right? I wouldn’t hurt her. I couldn’t hurt her… I looked at my hands. I could hold her, and she wouldn’t burn like Isaiah did. She wouldn’t be hurt by my hands. I felt my head get fucking damp with sweat. I didn’t hurt Maddie. I wouldn’t hurt Beatrix too.

“We grew up with an old man who didn’t want us, Flame. Don’t make Beatrix grow up thinking that too.” I closed my eyes when Ash’s words stabbed me in the fucking chest. “Imagine growing up with a papa that fucking loved you. I can’t even imagine what that would fucking feel like. What it would be like waking up and not being beaten and thrown into a cellar… and worse...”

“No one will ever fucking hurt her. I’d kill them first. She’s mine, they’re both mine and I’ll fucking murder anyone who tries to hurt them.”

“Then let them know that, Flame,” Ash said and got to his feet. “I’m on duty at the bar. Most of the brothers are gathering in the clubhouse bar to get shit done and everyone moved to the compound.” Ash looked like he wanted to put his hand on my shoulder. But he pulled his hand away and began to walk away.

“I’m meant to be the older brother,” I said and felt my chest ache. “I’m a shit brother. I…” I hit the side of my head. “I can’t see when you need me. I never know.” I quickly met Ash’s eyes when he looked back. I didn’t understand what I saw in them.

Ash’s lip lifted. “I’m not a kid now, Flame. I can look after myself.” He shrugged. “Plus, who fucking looks after you? I’m your brother too. It doesn’t matter if I’m younger. If you need me, I’ll be fucking here.” He swallowed and looked away. Ash quickly disappeared into the trees.

I looked down at my palms. I wouldn’t hurt Beatrix. She was immune to the flames. She… she was mine. Beatrix was half mine. My stomach rolled when I recalled Ash’s voice saying, you’re hurting Madds, brother…

I coughed when my throat tightened. I never wanted to hurt Maddie. No one was allowed to hurt Maddie, especially not me…

I got to my feet and walked back to the cabin. AK and Viking had gone. Some lamps were on, but the cabin was dark. I walked into the bedroom. Maddie was laid on the bed. Beatrix was in the bassinet beside her. Maddie was watching Beatrix sleep. Maddie looked up when I walked in. She smiled, but it wasn’t as big as her usual smile. Maddie put her finger to her mouth, telling me to be quiet, and got off the bed. She looked tired. She was pale, her eyes weren’t bright. Maddie held my hand and pulled me from the bedroom.

“Are you okay?” she asked when we were in the living room. She put her hand on my cheek. Her hand moved down my neck and along my arm. Maddie looked down. She froze. When I wondered what she was