I don’t have one, but I bet you could find one in the office.”
I nodded. I probably could. Pauline always had a stash of random essentials like that in the supply closet. But going to the main office meant running into Mr. Gentry, and I wasn’t in the mood to smile and feign enthusiasm for this morning’s assembly.
We were supposed to give our speeches in a few minutes, and I had no idea what I was going to do.
I mean, I did, but…I didn’t.
Ugh, I was such a mess.
And it was all Miller Hardwell’s fault. I scowled down into my safety pin-less bag at the thought of the guy who’d been tormenting me for the last forty-eight hours. Not in person, but the memory of him.
The things he’d said, the look in his eyes as he’d said it…the way he’d kissed me.
All of it. Every single second of our interaction had been parsed and dissected by my obsessive little brain, and I couldn’t stand another second of it.
“So,” Mia said in a tone that was way too cheerful for my current frame of mind. “Want to give a girl a hint about what you’re going to say?”
My head shot up, and for a second, I thought the wannabe reporter had been reading my mind.
What was I going to say to Miller? I couldn’t avoid him forever, and when I saw him, I needed to know what to say to make things right, to put things back to how they once were. I might’ve had an enemy, but I was used to that.
An arch-nemesis I could handle. A guy who told me I was sexy and likeable, and who kissed me like I was the most cherished girl on the planet?
No idea what to do with any of that.
Mia was waiting for an answer, and my brain started to freeze in a panic. But then she tilted her head to the side. “You do have a speech ready, right?”
The speech. Right. Of course. “I do,” I said, and with a smile I added, “And you’ll have to wait to hear it along with the rest of the school.”
She groaned good-naturedly. “Come on. Just a hint. Why do you want the role?”
“Sorry, Mia. No scoop today.” I laughed as I shook my head, but the anxiety I’d been battling all morning—all weekend—was back in full force with that stupid question.
The first morning bell wouldn’t ring for a little while, and I couldn’t get there early and see Miller. He’d take one look at me and know.
He’d know I was a wreck. He’d know it was his fault. He’d know…
Oh crap. He’d know that he’d gotten to me.
I sank down onto the bench seat outside of the office and closed my eyes.
Focus.
Nothing had changed. Everything was the same. I’d give my speech and answer any questions. Questions like why do you want the role?
I took a deep breath as a queasy sensation made my stomach roil. That was the super basic question Mia had asked that I’d been totally incapable of answering. Not even to myself. The thing was, I had an answer written down somewhere. On the application I’d had to answer that question, and for the life of me I couldn’t remember what I’d said.
Probably because it had been a bunch of bull.
I wasn’t a liar, but I could spin a tale with the best of them, and when it came to brown-nosing on applications, resumes, and essays—I was in a class of my own. I knew logically that I had a well-thought-out response to that simple question, but for the life of me I couldn’t think of it.
All I could think about was what Miller had said. What if you were here to have fun? With me?
I closed my eyes. There would be time for fun in college.
Right?
But would there be a guy like Miller at college?
I swallowed a thick lump at the thought of a life without my rival. Would it be easier without him challenging me every step of the way?
Undoubtedly.
So why did I feel like my chest was about to cave in?
Maybe because easy had never been what I was looking for in life. Easy was overrated. Easy never made anyone smarter or stronger or braver.
Easy never made someone step outside of her comfort zone and take a risk.
I touched my lips automatically, and I could have sworn I still felt the tingle that had followed his kiss. The sting of the cold when I’d pulled away.
Maybe