much of a good person Iris is. Because in her shoes, I would have found a way to drop a Mentos in his Coke, at the very least.
Mom nods, fully in agreement with my father’s assessment. “Iris is exactly the kind of woman you need in your life, Jude. A good woman.” Nothing like those loose groupies I’ve been known to spend my time with. Mom doesn’t have to say the words out loud to convey her meaning.
Walker finishes up with the gate and wipes his hands on a towel before joining us at the patio table. He peels off his straw hat and rolls back the sleeves of his look-at-me-I’m-a-cowboy shirt as Ma hands him a slice of pie.
I shake my head.“I’m not ready to settle down yet.” I’m a stubborn bastard and I know it.
“Settling down isn’t so bad,” my mother insists. “Look how happy Cannon is. Remember how grouchy he used to be?”
Callie steals a piece of pie crust from my dad’s plate. “Uncle Cannon used to be really grouchy.” She looks at me with wide eyes.
My mother smiles at the child and stretches over to brush her wild blonde ringlets back from her face. “Until Aunt Lexi brought out his soft side.”
Walker leans back in his chair and grins. “Time to let your soft side out, bro.”
He’s one to talk. He’s had a thing for Penny Merlini since we were teenagers and he’s never acted on it, as far as I know. His grumpy ass claims they’re ‘just friends’. In fact, he’d deny his feelings for the woman to his dying day even though it’s clear to everyone who’s ever seen the two of them in the same room.
I glare at his face. “My soft side is fine right where it is.” Buried under megatons of swagger and bravado.
Still, I can’t deny the picture of wedded bliss sitting right in front of me. I watch the way my father’s eyes brighten just a touch when his wife scoots her chair closer to his. The way he drops his hand to her knee with the familiarity of having repeated that action thousands of times before. Mom and Dad have been married 36 years and they do look happy. They raised my brothers and me in a happy home.
But I never imagined that type of deal for myself. I’ve always been so focused on my career and all the perks that come along with a professional football contract. Now that the future of my football dreams is in limbo, I find myself wondering about love for the first time. Hell, maybe I can have both—a career and a relationship worth investing in.
Wow, do you hear yourself, Jude?
Love is nowhere near my radar. Especially where Iris is concerned. She probably thinks I’m a frigging psycho after the things I said over dinner the other night.
What the hell was I thinking?
Not only did I come totally out of left field and admit to finding her attractive, the cherry on the crazy cake was accusing her of unfairly judging me in the present based on my past actions.
I’m so full of shit sometimes. Am I really a better person than I was back in college? That night before bed, I had to look myself in the mirror and ask the question. Didn’t like the answer very much.
Honestly, I’m not a better man. But do I want to be better? After hanging around Iris for a bit, I kind of think I might.
Eventually, my parents go off to put Callie to bed. Walker and I take a stroll down the dirt path to his cabin. We sit on the front porch overlooking the dark fields.
“Dude—Penny told me about your little temper tantrum over dinner the other night,” he says casually. “What was that all about?”
I cringe. “Yeah, that was fucked up. I acted a fool.”
“Just can’t help yourself, huh, asshole?”
I shake my head and drop my face into my palms as I replay my embarrassing display. “I’ll probably start looking for other lodging options. It’s not fair for Iris to be uncomfortable in her own home because of me.”
That’s when I realize that I…care. I’m not sure how it happened. Maybe it’s the sadness I always see in her eyes. Or maybe the vicarious guilt I feel about being best friends with the man who must have put it there.
“You’re moving out?” My brother asks, brow raised. He glances my way.
“Yeah, I think I should.” Iris is a goddess and being less