my pussy, starting to drive me wild with his touch.
“I’ve got you,” is his only response as he continues rubbing my already swollen clit in a pattern that makes me almost delirious. His words only heighten my desire for him and my cries are becoming more frequent now. He positions his thumb directly over my clit, relentlessly assaulting it as he slips a finger inside of me. I gasp at the invasion, but the pleasure of it overcomes me. My hips begin to move on their own accord, meeting his movements as he slips another finger inside and picks up the rhythm. My legs begin to tremble, and I can feel the familiar tightening of my body alerting me that I’m almost there. A few more flicks of his thumb and I’m sent over the edge, falling with no end in sight, overcome with an orgasm that seems to go on forever.
Nathan’s mouth is on my neck, kissing me and nipping at the skin. I loosen the grip I have on his shoulders as the orgasm begins to recede, leaving me breathless and not totally coherent.
“You all right?” he questions with a smile.
I nod twice and close my eyes from both exhaustion and embarrassment. Given my line of work, one would assume that I am free and easygoing when it comes to sex, but I’m normally very careful about who I’m intimate with. I don’t lose myself easily, but with Nathan, caution seems to fly out the window. I was expecting him to press on and want to have sex, or at the very least seek reciprocation, but he doesn’t make a move.
“Hey,” he calls after rolling off me and onto his side. I turn my head and do my best to focus my hazy vision on him. “Is it all right if I stay the night?”
“Ummm, sure.” I do my best to hide the confusion in my voice, but it must be written all over my face.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing's wrong, I just thought…”
“That we were going to have sex.”
“Well, yeah. I’ve never had anyone just end things at foreplay.”
“I think that we should ease into sex.”
“You do?”
“Yes because I think that you still have reservations about us and before we take it there you should be sure that it’s what you want.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you,” I reply a tad too sarcastically. I watch carefully as he gets up and quickly undresses, leaving nothing but his boxers on before returning to bed.
“Maybe you’ve just been dating the wrong kind of guys.”
“Maybe.” I agree with him, thinking that maybe he’s right. Maybe I have been dating guys who were so totally wrong for me, guys who put their feelings and desires above my own. I contemplate this as I begin to drift off, as Nathan pulls me into his arms and holds me close. I find sleep thinking that being with him feels very right.
The smell of the apartment is bad. There is garbage everywhere, and Mommy is not here. She hasn’t been here in a long time. I’m hungry, but there’s nothing in the refrigerator. There’s never anything in the refrigerator. A tall man came to get Mommy. She went away with him, and I haven’t seen her since. He saw me sitting on the couch and tried to talk to me. He asked me how old I was and if I liked candy but I was too scared of him to answer. He looked funny and he was a stranger. Mommy told him to get away from me and took me into her room. She told me to stay in her room until she left. She told me to make sure I only came out once I heard the door slam and I knew she was gone. It made me cry because I don’t like being left alone; it scares me to be all by myself, but Mommy said she had to go to work and would see me soon. She promised to be right back, but she’s still gone and now I’m scared that she will never come back and I don’t know how to find my daddy. I know he’ll find me, though. Daddy always comes for me. If I can just make it a little longer, I know Daddy will come.
I awake, startled from a nightmare that I haven’t had in years. A memory from a long time ago right before I went to go live with my father permanently. I shake it off and