Million Dollar Christmas Bride - Holly Rayner Page 0,42
realized she was holding her breath. She inhaled, exhaled, and then bit her lip. “I’m sorry if this is coming out of left field,” she said. She broke eye contact and looked down at Peaches.
Under the attentive gaze of her owner, Peaches perked up. She lifted her chin, waiting to be pet.
Still, Jackson didn’t speak.
He doesn’t feel the same, Bianca thought. He doesn’t care about me in the same way I care about him.
“You know what?” she said, her tone taking on a bitter edge. “I think Peaches and I better go. She’s not crazy about walking with strangers, so I better take her out for her morning walk myself. Tell your housekeeper thanks.” This was far from the truth; Peaches loved strangers and was always eager to meet new friends.
Bianca strode past Jackson, through the glass doors. The housekeeper was now in the sitting area, setting out a tray of croissants, fruit, and coffee. Bianca saw that the dress and sweater she’d worn the night before were now folded and in a neat pile.
She felt flushed as she hurried over toward her boots, which were now lined up neatly at the base of the couch. She let the fleece blanket fall away from her as she stooped to pull on one boot and then the other. She grabbed her sweater and pulled it on over Jackson’s shirt. Once her purse was over her shoulder, she swiped a mug from the coffee table and took a sip of the warm, perfectly brewed coffee.
With the mug still in her hand and Peaches at her heels, she strode through the expansive space, heading in the direction of the exit—she hoped. Last night had been such a blur of passion, she really wasn’t sure.
“Miss!” the housekeeper called out, “Miss! Your dress!”
Bianca didn’t turn around. She was intent on making her exit as quickly as possible. She turned down a hallway, and to her relief, spotted the front door.
She sped up.
“Bianca, wait!” Jackson called out.
Her heart skipped a beat. Her breath caught in her throat. She froze. Now? she thought. Is he about to say he loves me?
She turned slowly.
Jackson held up her dress, which the housekeeper must have handed to him. “Your dress…” he said.
“Is that really what you want to say to me right now?” she asked, as a sharp pang of disappointment hit her gut and traveled up to her throat, where a lump formed. “Really, Jackson?”
She felt her hands grip the coffee mug in her hands tightly, as if it was a life raft. If I hold on tight enough, maybe I won’t cry.
Chapter 14
Jackson
“Is that really what you want to say to me right now?” Bianca asked, her voice quavering with sadness that was masked, just barely, by sass. She gripped the white ceramic mug in her hand so hard that her knuckles turned white. She raised one eyebrow until it disappeared under a swooping wave of auburn bangs. “Really, Jackson?”
Though anger crackled on her surface, he knew she was holding back tears. He could see it in her face and hear it in her voice.
He let the dress in his hands fall. “What do you want me to say?” he asked.
She pressed her lips together. Her eyes glistened as she took a shaky breath. “I think you know.”
He did.
She wants me to say “I love you.”
His unsaid words formed an invisible cloud that hung over the room. He knew that if he spoke—if he said those three words—the cloud would disappear. Her mood would lighten. Everything would be okay.
But he couldn’t.
Those are words you can’t take back, he thought. Not without a fight. Not without tears. As it is now, nothing has been lost. She’s holding her heart out to me, but if I don’t accept it, that means I won’t break it.
Love ends in heartbreak. That’s not what I want—not for me, and not for Bianca.
“Look,” he said, “I know this is complicated… and maybe it’s not what you want out of a relationship. But it’s all I can offer right now.”
Bianca shook her head. “This isn’t a real relationship,” she said. “As it is now, you’re using me. I can’t let that happen. Not again.”
Her words cut into him, and he recoiled. “I’m not using you,” he said. “This thing with the fake wedding has nothing to do with what happened between us last night. I would never dream of paying you for…” His voice died out, as he realized that he wasn’t helping his case.