Midnight Caller - By Diane Burke Page 0,63

“And then I did. When I least expected it…when I didn’t want it…there he was. Tony. Reliable. Dependable. Wonderful Tony.”

She ducked her head. “And I could almost believe it could work out between us. But I know it can’t. He’s a cop. He’s a man who carries a gun, lives in a world of bad guys and leaves the house with no promise that he’ll come home at night. Every day I would live in fear I would lose him. The fear would become corrosive, eating away at who I am until I’m not me anymore. Until fear is all I feel.” Tears rolled down Erin’s face. “I love him too much to do that to him. To do that to Jack and Amy. To do that to me. I won’t allow myself to become angry and bitter like my mother.”

Tess recoiled as if Erin had slapped her. “Your mother?” She tightened her grip on Erin. “Nothing in this world could turn you into the shallow, selfish, self-centered woman who bore you.”

Erin’s mouth fell open. She had never heard her aunt say an unkind word about her mother.

“You think because I lived in Ireland that I didn’t know what was going on here? I have tons of letters filled with my brother’s torment. Lord knows he hadn’t wanted to marry her in the first place.” Tess sat down heavily, her legs no longer holding her up.

Erin sunk into the chair opposite Tess and stared at her in shock.

“I know I shouldn’t be talkin’ this way about the dead,” Tess said. “But it’s about time you knew the truth. Michael O’Malley was a good man, but young and sometimes foolish. He used to earn extra money doing odd security jobs. One night at some snooty high-brow affair he worked, he met your mother. She was beautiful and flirtatious and exciting…and drunk. He thought she was cute. He had no idea he was witnessing the tip of a major problem. He took her home and ended up staying the night. They had a brief affair, but Michael didn’t love her. He planned to break it off, but she told him she was pregnant. So he did what Michael always did…the right thing.”

Tess wiped a tear from the side of her eye. “He was miserable with your mother. She was a demanding, selfish and bitter alcoholic who made his life horrible. He worked two jobs, but the money he made was never enough for her. He was never enough. He thought about divorcing her a thousand times. But he never did.”

“Because of me?” Erin asked.

“Partially. He loved you, Erin, with all his heart. Sometimes I think the only happiness my brother knew came from his time with you.” Tess breathed in deeply. “Michael tried to make your mother happy. When he couldn’t, he begged her to go with him for counseling. She refused. Michael learned the hard way that sin has consequences and sometimes those consequences can last a lifetime. Drawing closer to Jesus made him able to cope.”

Erin cried openly. “I never knew.”

“Well, you know now. I refuse to let you go on thinking all the pain you witnessed was because of your father’s job. That’s nonsense. Just like it is nonsense to think you could be anything like her. You couldn’t even if you tried.”

Erin straightened her shoulders. “It doesn’t change the fact that my father’s job caused his death.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She stood and started to walk away.

“Aren’t you going to tell me I shouldn’t worry about Tony’s job? That God is in control? Aren’t you going to say I’d be crazy to walk away from the man of my dreams?”

Tess turned in the doorway. “Why should I, lass? You’re doing a fine job on your own.”

Tony stood at the hospital window and stared unseeingly outside. His mind raced with the information his team had given him. All he could think of was Erin. The news would be devastating and he wouldn’t be there to help soften the blow. He was so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard the door open.

“Hello?”

He spun around at the sound of her voice. “Erin.” His heart plummeted to his feet. His emotions ran the gamut from elation to anger, pleasure to disappointment and pain. When had he fallen in love with her? Did he really think he could be with her every day, hold her in his arms and remain unaffected? Now look at him. Pathetic. Unsure of himself. The only thing certain