and almost dumped it on the floor twice before finally getting the door open.
She noted that Michael had already poured a beer for himself and a soft drink for her and was seated on the sofa with a basketball game on TV. He instinctively started to get up, then fell back with a muttered oath.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
Kelly merely nodded, took the pizza over to the coffee table, then held up the movie selections. “You pick first.”
He pointed to the Bruce Willis film. “Somehow testosterone goes better with pizza and beer.”
“A matter of opinion,” she noted, but she slipped it into the tape player and sat down beside him.
As requested, the movie was noisy and filled with action, so no conversation was required, but Kelly still felt as if Michael was holding something back. As soon as it was over, rather than slipping a second tape into the machine, she turned to him.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about whatever’s on your mind?”
He leveled a look at her and slowly shook his head. “I’d rather do this,” he said, reaching for her.
Kelly sighed and murmured, “Me, too,” just as his mouth covered hers.
Chapter Nine
The kiss did what nothing else had been able to do. It drove all thoughts of the search for the rest of the Devaneys from Michael’s head. All that mattered was the silky brush of Kelly’s lips across his, the intoxicating heat that curled through him like a slug of fine Scotch, and the thundering of his heart. For a few minutes, he forgot that he couldn’t walk, forgot that his future was filled with uncertainty. All that mattered was here, now and the woman in his arms.
Then, somewhere in the back of his head where his values and conscience resided, he heard the first faint whisper that lust was a poor substitute for deeper feelings. And sex was no way to block out problems that needed to be dealt with.
There was little question that he could spend the next few hours, perhaps even the whole night with Kelly in his bed and his problems on hold. But he’d never used a woman like that before, and he wasn’t about to start with one he genuinely liked. He sighed against her delectable lips and slowly released her.
Forehead pressed against hers, he murmured an apology.
“For?” she asked cautiously.
“I keep swearing that I won’t do this again.”
“Have I complained?”
His lips curved. “No, but you should. There are a million and one reasons why it’s a bad idea.”
“Name two,” she challenged.
“Your professional reputation,” he said, tossing her own frequently stated argument back at her. “And the fact that I’m at a crossroads. I have nothing to offer you. Until I figure out who and what I’m going to be now that I’m no longer a SEAL, I have nothing to offer to anyone.”
Eyes sparkling with indignation, she frowned at that. “Michael Devaney, if that’s not the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You don’t have to put yourself in harm’s way for your country to be a worthwhile human being. The reality is that very few men do what you’ve been doing the last few years, and most of the rest live perfectly respectable, fulfilling lives with women and children who love them. Are you suggesting that any one of them is less of a man because of what they do or because they don’t do what you did?”
“Of course not,” he said fiercely. “I would never say anything like that. It’s about being able to do what you love, what you’re good at. I was good at being a SEAL. I loved it, the same way Ryan loves running his pub or Sean loves being a firefighter. It’s about being passionate about something, and then losing it. We were talking about your professional reputation the other day. That wouldn’t matter if your career weren’t important to you, right? So, what if you lost it? What if they took your license away? How would you feel?”
Her expression faltered at that. “I’d hate it,” she said at once, then added with absolute certainty, “but I’d get over it and find something else.”
“Just like that?” Michael asked skeptically. “You think it’s that easy?”
“No, of course it’s not easy, and maybe it wouldn’t happen overnight, but I wouldn’t give up or think my life was over,” she insisted.
Though he didn’t share her belief that she could move on so easily, Michael accepted the fact that she believed it. “Fair enough,” he said.