luckiest woman in the world. I want that for you too.’
And yesterday Tilly would have said in all honesty that waking up to Henry and going about their newfound morning routine made her feel exactly that way. This morning, though, reality had intruded in the guise of a funeral halfway around the world, and a life Henry had led that she knew nothing about. ‘I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take my time on the romancing Henry front.’ Get to know the man that the abandoned, too-clever boy had become. ‘Slow down some.’ Be sure of his love.
‘He’s here for a while, is he not?’ her mother asked, and Tilly nodded.
‘Then you have time.’
*
When Henry came knocking mid-afternoon, Rowan nestled into his shoulder and a bunch of pretty purple irises and fern leaves in hand, Tilly tried to hide her relief at the sight of him and probably failed miserably.
‘For you,’ he said.
‘The flowers or the baby?’
‘Which do you want?’
‘Both. Definitely both.’ She rifled through the cupboards for a vase to put the flowers in, and then took baby Rowan off his hands and let contentment wash over her. And when Rowan seemed equally pleased to see her, well, that was just passionfruit icing for the cake, coconut for the lamingtons, and the prettiest sight she’d seen all day.
‘Do I get one of those smiles too?’ Henry wanted to know, and his words were light but his eyes seemed guarded.
‘Why not? I’m happy to see you.’ It meant she wouldn’t have to sit at home arguing with herself about whether or not to seek him out.
‘I spoke to Joe earlier.’
‘How’s Beth?’
‘Two steps forward one step back. She’s asking for me. Seems agitated. I said I’d drive down tomorrow. Take Rowan with me.’
‘Oh.’
‘Want to come too?’
Oh. Yes and no. Take it slow. Her mother’s words were still fresh in her mind. ‘But you don’t exactly need me to. I mean, you’re all sorted on the caring for Rowan front now. Good job. Are you staying for coffee and cookies?’
‘If you’re offering.’
‘Definitely offering.’
‘But you don’t want to come to Melbourne with us,’ he said, as she got busy buckling the baby into the play carrier currently suction cupped to the top of the counter.
She set a plate of macadamia and white chocolate chip cookies in front of him. ‘I took an order for cakes today that I promised to deliver tomorrow. It’s still a week before I’m officially back at work, but some of my clients have really missed me. They heard I was back and got in touch.’
‘Small world.’
‘Around here, yes.’
‘Anything you’d like me to bring you back?’
She liked that he didn’t try to wheedle and cajole. That he took her fledgling business seriously enough to know that there would be times she needed to tend it rather than be at his beck and call.
At the same time, he could have tried a little harder to get her to go.
This was the state of her mind at the moment. If wanting two opposing reactions from him—and wanting them with equal intensity to the point where she would be disappointed in his response either way—didn’t tell her she was not fit company for a road trip, nothing would. ‘Nah, I’m good.’
‘No cooking ingredients?’
‘I already have a supplier in Melbourne. They can source anything I need. But maybe I can send a few sweets down for Beth. Do you think she’ll be tiring of hospital food by now?’
‘I’m sure she wouldn’t say no to some of your food instead.’
‘Good answer.’
‘I’m trying,’ he murmured. ‘This morning went wrong, and I don’t know why. I’m trying to fix it.’
Now would be the perfect time to confess her insecurities. Her thoughts on his big bold life that she’d never been part of. Now would be the time to mention how, after all these years of fighting her way out from beneath that Silly Tilly label, that she often felt so inadequate when he talked about the work he did with his super-smart think tank colleagues. She’d never been shy about telling people what was troubling her before. Silly Tilly could be quite direct.
But she didn’t want to voice her thoughts and watch him back away fast. ‘This morning was hard.’ She gave them both that much. ‘For me, it hit home that Rowan will never know her birth mother, and that’s something to mourn. By your account, Amanda was a worthy colleague and someone you thought enough of to go to bed with. She was smart.