sleepy. She’ll settle here with me if you want to go out.’
She was settled now. Like a barnacle against Henry’s generously muscled chest.
‘Just so you all know, I don’t need company on my exciting culinary adventure,’ Tilly offered, trying and failing to figure out what was causing the friction between the two men. ‘Even if I wouldn’t say no to it.’ There. Her two cents were also in the ring now.
Henry looked torn.
‘Bring her along,’ she added. Why not?
Torn, hot and downright edible. Henry Church. Éclair.
‘No, I—’ He looked to his grandfather. ‘Thank you. Call if you want me back.’
Five minutes and a change of shirt for Henry later they strode along a narrow laneway, with Tilly trying, and failing, to match Henry’s long strides. ‘I’ll meet you there,’ she yelled from several paces behind; he faltered and turned in her direction, hands in his pockets and his face a picture of consternation.
‘Sorry. Really. I was miles away.’
Not exactly a compliment. ‘Okay, so here’s the deal. I know this isn’t a date, but if you’re not going to be present, just keep walking. I get to enjoy my meal without worrying that I’m boring you stupid, and you get to take a break from fathering duties. Everyone wins.’
‘I didn’t mean to ignore you.’
‘You have a lot on your mind. I can understand that.’ There was no way to delicately ask what she wanted to know. ‘Were you in love with Rowan’s mother?’ Was he grieving too?
He seemed startled by her question and then his mouth twisted into a grim smile. ‘No. I worked with her. Respected her. We got together once, that was all. Then she took a job elsewhere and we lost touch.’
There was a lot going on in that there answer. Tilly latched on to the easiest reply she could think of. ‘So, she was smart. Like you.’
‘Define smart. Because the way I see it, waiting until after she was dead before revealing that I had a daughter was utterly imbecilic.’
‘You’re speaking ill of the dead.’
‘I’m thinking ill of the dead. What does it matter? She’s dead. And she took whatever meagre reasons she had for doing what she did with her. Am I really so intimidating that she couldn’t have come to me beforehand?’
‘You can be.’ She’d started this line of questioning, Tilly reminded herself sternly. She would see it through. Kissing all thoughts of a pleasant meal aside, she gave him her truth. ‘You’re very driven. Ambitious.’ You leave people behind without a backwards glance was what she wanted to say, but this wasn’t about her. ‘Amanda may have hoped her cancer would spare her and that you’d never need to know.’
‘And you think that’s acceptable? For a woman to simply decide to cut a father out of a child’s life from birth? Because it’s not.’
‘You’re looking at it—’
‘How? As a child who never knew who his father was? As a man who is perfectly willing and able to shoulder his responsibilities, assuming he knows about them?’
‘I’m not arguing with you.’ She truly wasn’t. ‘It’s just … did you ever reach out to your colleague after that one night together? You might have asked her how the new job was going, or said, hey let’s keep in touch. She may have been waiting for a cue from you that never came.’
‘Oh, now it’s my fault.’
They reached a set of traffic lights and a stop walking sign. ‘Henry, you are spoiling for a fight, and I understand your turmoil and anger. I do. But I refuse to be the stand-in for all the women who’ve ever wronged you. The restaurant I’m going to is that way.’ She pointed left. ‘You don’t have to join me. There’s a gin bar to your right, according to the map on my phone, and I’m pretty sure they’ll have whisky too. I can devour sashimi and edamame beans and you can drown your sorrows. Everyone’s a winner.’
He shoved his hands in the pockets of his trousers and looked away. She stood and waited for his decision, because she really did want to be there for him, talk with him, give him some way to air his emotions without doing damage.
‘It’s a messy situation, I know,’ she murmured as the lights changed colour and the walk signal appeared.
‘I’m being an ass.’
He would get no argument from her.
‘I’m not an easy man.’
Again, no argument, but her face might have spoken for her.
‘Don’t suppose I could buy you a drink before you walk away?’
‘You’re