There was a scowl on the woman’s face. A face that looked nothing like Brooklyn’s. She was staring at me like I was a lunatic with a death wish. Maybe I was crazy. I didn’t want to die though. I knew all too well what damage a life cut short could cause.
Another horn honked behind me. And then it was like a symphony of horns. Fuck. A taxi swerved around me and the driver lifted his middle finger in the air as he blew past me.
Asshole. The horns started up again and I pressed down on the gas. My heart felt weird in my chest. Like it was beating out of sync.
I made a quick U-turn. I didn’t care about changing out of my sweaty clothes anymore. I just needed a drink. It wasn’t like I needed to make a good impression on Penny anyway. Her husband was practically a brother to me. Which made her practically a sister. My stomach rolled over. I sped into her apartment building’s underground parking garage and pulled into one of the empty spots next to James’ extensive car collection.
I sat there for a few minutes trying to catch my breath. It had been a while since I thought I’d seen Brooklyn walking around the city like a ghost. But every now and then some random woman with blonde hair made me freeze. It was never her. And every time it happened, it messed up my breathing and made it feel like someone had turned me inside out.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Brooklyn used to get panic attacks all the time. She’d left them with me. Just like she’d left me with a hole in my heart and an overactive imagination. I ran my hand down my face and then climbed out of my car. A drink would help.
I let myself into the apartment building and nodded at the man standing at the front desk.
“Good evening, Mr. Caldwell,” he said. “Mrs. Hunter’s expecting you.”
Mrs. Hunter. I wasn’t sure why it bothered me so much when people called Penny that. I tried to give the attendant a smile even though I was still having trouble catching my breath. I hit the elevator button and stepped inside. Breathe in. Breathe out. As soon as the doors closed, I let the back of my head rest against the elevator wall. The doors dinged open far too soon. I walked out onto Penny’s floor and looked up at the cameras that were pointed toward the elevator. James’ security team would be watching me. It was possible that even James was watching. It didn’t matter if Penny promised our meeting would be a secret. It would never be secret here.
I should have turned around right then. But I knew on the other side of that door was a scotch and someone who wouldn’t make me feel like I was crazy. I knocked.
Penny opened the door with a huge smile on her face. “You came!” It was like her cheery words caught in her throat and died at the sight of me. “Matt, are you alright?”
“Fine.” I stepped past her. “I just need a drink.”
“Okay…” she said, following me into her huge kitchen.
I could feel her eyes on me as I took out a glass and poured myself some scotch. I knew I was being rude. But I took a huge sip anyway before turning back to her. “Sorry. Do you want some?” I set the glass down on the counter with a clink when I realized my hand was shaking.
She laughed. “As good as a drink sounds right now, I can’t. I’m breastfeeding.”
My eyes wandered to her breasts and I didn’t even try to hide it. What the hell am I doing? She was breastfeeding her baby boy that would one day call me Uncle Matt just like her daughter did. I grabbed my glass, downed the rest of the burning liquid, and tried not to cough. “I’m sorry. I just stopped by to tell you that I need to cancel our plans for tonight. I’ll catch you later.” I tried to walk past her, but she grabbed my arm.
“Matt.” Her voice was laced with concern. But I barely heard it. Because it was like the fire in my throat had somehow transferred to where she was touching my skin.
I pulled back. “Penny, I’ve had a really shitty day and I don’t want to pretend that everything is fine. You know I don’t want to do