pick her up please?’ There’s crackling on the other end of the line. ‘Okay, I’m back. Sam is pretty good at cuddles and she’s not due a feed until twelve. Where were we? Sorry, I still need to majorly catch up on sleep.’
‘I was telling you where I messed up with Sophia. I think it was the point where I got very tipsy and having told her I just want to be near her, when she was probably thinking I’m some weird creep, I announced I’m still married to Laura.’
Tina lets out a breath. ‘Oops. You really know how to woo a girl don’t you?’
‘Yep that’s me. A total expert on dating,’ I say sarcastically.
‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. The main thing is, have you explained how you feel? Or have you gone all I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it.’
‘I wrote her a letter.’
‘Good start.’ Tina sounds impressed. ‘Has she replied?’
‘No not yet,’ I admit, ‘but maybe she will.’
‘Hmm,’ she says, ‘unlikely.’ I feel unexpectedly crushed. If Tina thinks I’ve even gone about fixing things the wrong way, what hope do I have? ‘It will have helped,’ she goes on, easing the discomfort in my chest, ‘but you’re going to have to do a whole lot more work, Jack Stanton, if you want to dig yourself out of this mess.’
‘I don’t know.’ That letter was the only move I had. ‘What else can I do? I could get some flowers delivered.’
‘No, it needs something more inventive than that,’ Tina replies, unimpressed. ‘What does she want more than anything else?’
‘I don’t know and even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to get it for her,’ I point out. ‘I’m pretty broke on furlough and can’t go anywhere anyway.’
‘Well, if you want to give up so easily …’
‘No I don’t – I really like this girl, Tina. I know it sounds strange when we haven’t even met but …’
‘It’s okay, I get it, but you’re going to have to think outside the box, something really special – and above all be open and honest with her …’
‘Okay I’ll think of something,’ I promise. ‘And thanks, Tina. Whatever Sam says about you, you’re the best.’
She laughs. ‘I like to try. Bye, Jack.’
She’s right. I do need to think of something amazing and different, just to convince Sophia I’m not some idiot who will let her down. I finish the application form for the Chiropractic College and press send, then sit staring at a piece of paper hoping for an idea to come to me. I don’t know why anyone sits looking at a blank piece of paper hoping an idea will come to them as if by magic. It really doesn’t work. What did Sophia say she likes? I’m not really sure other than children, food, alcohol, music … There must be loads of possibilities with this. But there’s nothing special in any of my ideas – they’re all really mundane. What did she say she really missed? Hugs, her family – well I can’t do much about that – she obviously misses the countryside as she said the first thing she’d do after lockdown was go to Sparrow Hill. Can’t do anything about that either.
I draw a line through my page and turn it over. By now it’s getting to dusk. The shadows on the walls are lengthening. I look up as a pigeon flies past the window, but all I see is its shadow, an outline of a bird flying to a nearby rooftop with a fine twig in its beak. It must be nesting.
‘That’s it!’ I exclaim to myself and then laugh as I really have lost it, shouting out loud to no one in particular. I need to phone Bertie, who is due his regular call, but after that I have some friends from Greece who might just be able to help me create an amazing surprise for Sophia.
I dial the number for Bertie.
‘Hello,’ he answers, but sounds quite unlike his usual self, really down and flat, instantly dampening my own buoyant mood.
‘Hi, Bertie, how’s it going?’
‘Oh hello, young man … Well, it’s going I’ll give it that.’
‘One of those days?’ I ask.
‘You could say that. I have managed to have a little amble round the block.’
‘The daily constitutional?’
‘That’s the one. But my back is painful – it’s a real nuisance and stops me doing as much as I’d like. I managed to get some tomatoes potted up and a few geranium cuttings started but I feel tired today.’