weeks. He was either closeted in his office or out, accompanying Major Radcliffe to various meetings. When at home, the major always seemed to be around, coming down to breakfast early and staying up well past the time Jocelyn normally retired to her room for the night. He was as courteous and polite as ever, but there was a watchfulness in him she found unnerving. Did he know something? Did he suspect? Did he think she was using his aide-de-camp to gain access to sensitive information? He hadn’t expressly forbidden them to see each other, but his obvious displeasure was directed toward Captain Denning rather than herself, or so it seemed.
Jocelyn and Captain Denning had managed to carve out a few private moments, sneaking out to the garden while Major Radcliffe took his evening bath, which lasted a minimum of a half hour. Mostly they just talked, but their relationship had changed. Their attraction to each other was undeniable, and their stolen kisses left Jocelyn feeling guilty and conflicted. The major’s house was no longer a stage where she had to play her part; she was now the playwright, pouring out her feelings and setting the actors up for a final act, in which someone would inevitably be betrayed, and hearts would break.
Going about her chores, Jocelyn kept an eye on the major’s study and the captain’s office, but both rooms were locked when the men were out and no one but Mrs. Johnson was allowed to go inside, and then only with the major’s express permission. Word had come down from Richard Kinney that Jocelyn was to find out all she could about the upcoming campaign against General Washington’s army. She didn’t know whether Richard had people placed in other military households and had several sources of information, but she had to do her utmost to find out more, and the only way she could do that was by talking to Jared. She had begun to think of him as Jared, an intimacy she shouldn’t have permitted herself, since it made it even more difficult to draw the line between espionage and romance.
“When will you know if you’re leaving?” Jocelyn asked anxiously as they sat on a bench in the back garden, their faces gilded by the light spilling from the parlor windows.
“Soon,” Jared replied.
“Is an attack on the Continental Army imminent?” Jocelyn asked, her heart thudding.
Jared nodded but didn’t elaborate.
“I’ll miss you,” she said, and knew it to be true.
“I will miss you too, Jocelyn,” Jared replied. “But I will come back. I promise.”
“Not if you will be stationed in Philadelphia.”
“Philadelphia is not so far away. I’ll ask for furlough.” Jared reached out and took her hand in his. “I wish I didn’t have to leave just when we’re getting to know each other.”
Jocelyn leaned against him, enjoying the solid feel of his arm beneath her cheek. He made her feel safe in a world where nothing was certain. He cared.
“Would you ever consider a life in England?” Jared asked, tilting his head to look at her.
“No. Would you consider a life in America?”
Jared thought about that for a moment. “I might.”
“Even if the British lost the war?”
Jared smiled wryly. “I don’t care about the war. I joined the army because I needed a career, a path forward that didn’t depend on my father’s generosity, or lack of it. It wasn’t from any deep sense of conviction.” He wrapped his arm around her, his expression tender. “Jocelyn, I’ve never been in love. I’d always assumed I’d remain a bachelor. Stay in the army, climb the ranks, then, if I didn’t encounter a musket ball with my name on it, retire and settle down in some small cottage by the sea. I’d never imagined having a woman by my side, or children. But once I met you, all that changed. Somehow, living alone in a cottage by the sea now seems terribly lonely and incomplete. What type of life did you envision for yourself before all this?” he asked.
“I suppose I always thought I would marry and have a family, but then my father died, and suddenly I found myself alone. I’d grown used to being on my own. There’s a certain freedom in making your own decisions and not having to answer to anyone, but it’s lonely too, and at times, very frightening.”
“Can you see your way to not being alone?” Jared asked.
“Depends on the circumstances, I suppose,” Jocelyn replied with more seriousness than she’d intended.
“I’m in no