help him, and beat up his girlfriends, Beth thought, but didn’t say the words out loud. Sean was still Mikey’s father.
“He looked a lot thinner and older.” Mikey took a slug of his water. “He said he wished things had gone differently, and that he was learning to deal with his rage issues, and was in therapy.”
He looked at her as if seeking approval, which she wasn’t prepared to give him. It dawned on her that she really didn’t care what Sean thought or did anymore. Sometime over the past few years he’d lost his hold over her. The only concern she had right now was how he would influence Mikey.
“Don’t you care?” Mikey asked.
“Not really.” Beth decided to be honest. “Do you?”
“Of course, I do. He’s my dad.” Mikey set his glass down on the countertop. “You taught me that everyone is redeemable.”
Beth had nothing to say to that, and Mikey took a quick lap around the extensive kitchen, his expression troubled.
“I went back on the Sunday morning before I had to get on the bus. He tried shit-talking about you and Wes’s mom and I shut him down. He didn’t like that.”
“He wouldn’t.”
“Then he asked if I had any money to spare.”
Beth bit her lip and looked up at her son, who swallowed hard.
“He got all salty when I said I was at college and not earning much. He said that if I had nothing to give him, then he didn’t really need to see me again.”
Mikey finally sat opposite Beth. “He was like two different guys. He was so funny and charming the first day, and then when I wouldn’t agree with him about you being a bad person, or give him money, he just flipped and got real mean.”
Beth instantly wanted to reassure him that maybe Sean had just been having a bad day, or . . . and remembered that she was done making excuses for her ex.
She nodded and Mikey frowned at her.
“Haven’t you got anything to say about any of this?”
“It’s not my place to comment on your relationship with your father,” Beth said.
“Why not? You commented about it plenty at the coffee shop in Reno.”
“Which was wrong of me.” She paused. “You’re an adult now. If you want to see Sean that’s entirely up to you.” She reached over and patted his clenched fist. “I trust you to make your own decision about this, Mikey. I’m happy to listen if you want my opinion, but I’m no longer going to tell you what you should or should not do.”
Mikey didn’t look any happier, so she continued talking. “I’ve spent so long protecting you that it’s been difficult for me to let you make your own choices, because I get scared. But when you got on that bus to Oakland, I finally realized I had to let you find your own way. I could’ve forced you to come home with me, but what would that have achieved? Just more resentment and misunderstandings, and I don’t need that in my life again.”
“So, what happens if I want to see Dad again?” Mikey asked.
“You do what seems right to you. I’m certainly not going to stop you.” She smiled at him. “The only thing I’d ask is that you don’t tell me anything you talk about. Keep it between yourselves.”
“But what if I need your advice?”
“Then, as I said, within reason I’m willing to listen to you.” Beth met his gaze. “You need to understand that I have boundaries, too, Mikey. It’s taken me years to deal with the impact Sean had on my life, and I’m no longer willing to immerse myself in his chaotic existence.”
“Boundaries are good.” Mikey nodded. “I remember my therapist talking about those. Maybe I should go get a refresher course.”
“Maybe we all should go.” She squeezed his fingers. “I love you, Mikey.”
He offered her a hesitant smile. “Wes said I could talk to him about Dad whenever I liked because he remembers him way better than I do.”
“Wes saw a completely different side of Sean, the side I tried to keep from you,” Beth reminded him.
“I still remember him yelling and breaking things and us hiding in my bedroom until he passed out on the couch.” Mikey shivered. “It was terrifying, but even then, I knew you’d protect me.”
Beth winced at the pain in his voice.
“Wes said his mother died protecting him from Dad,” Mikey said. “I never knew that until today, did you?”
Beth nodded. “If Sharon hadn’t confronted