bed? We can talk, or maybe you’ll just sleep better?”
She wanted to say no, to assure him that she was fine, but she just couldn’t do it.
“I’d like that—if you’re okay with it, I mean.”
“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t.” Conner took hold of her hand and maneuvered himself back across to the bed. “I’m no stranger to nightmares myself.”
“I bet.” God, her voice was still shaking. What must he think of her? “I can’t even imagine . . .”
“Best if you don’t try.” He held back the covers, the note of steel back in his voice. “You okay on the inside so you’re not close to my bad leg?”
Beth crawled past him and lay back against the pillows until he climbed in beside her and slid his arm around her shoulders.
“You good like this?”
“Yes.” Beth turned on her side and curled against him, her hand coming to rest on his chest. She had her panties and T-shirt on, so she was decent.
He murmured something and went quiet, allowing her the time and the space to regain her composure. She wished she could go back to sleep.
“Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him at the window again,” Beth whispered.
“Your ex?”
She nodded.
“You know that even if he was here, I wouldn’t let him hurt you again.”
“That’s not your job. I can take care of myself,” Beth stated.
A low chuckle reverberated through his chest, surprising her.
“I’m sure you can, but I’d be more than willing to help out, and why not use all the resources on hand?” He paused. “It’s a lot harder to kill someone than you realize.”
“I know.” Beth shivered. “There was one time when Sean came home drunk and tripped up on the kitchen rug when he lunged at me. He went down like a stone. I stood over him for what felt like an eternity with my cast-iron pan shaking in my hands, but I couldn’t do it.”
“Because you’re a good and decent person.”
She frowned up at him. “So are you.”
“No, I’m not.” She went to speak but he kept on talking. “It’s okay, Beth. The way I look at it is that some of us have to be prepared to take on the dirty work to keep everyone else safe.” He shrugged. “It was also a way to channel my natural aggression and learn how to control it rather than let it control me.”
She rubbed her palm over his biceps. “It still left its mark on you.”
“Yeah, but I can deal with it.”
Beth had her own thoughts on that, but now wasn’t the time to get into it, when he was being so kind.
“Sean’s unlikely to turn up here, so I’m not sure why I dreamt he could.”
“The human brain is weird like that,” Conner murmured, his eyes slowly closing. “I know I won’t get blown up again in a war zone, but it still keeps happening in my dreams.” He sighed and drew her closer against his side. “I assume Sean’s still alive then?”
“Yes. He’s in San Quentin.”
His fingers tightened on her skin. “Good riddance. I hope he never gets out.”
“I’d kicked him out, so Sean was living with Wes and Wes’s mom, Sharon. He came home drunk and took a swing at her. When she backed up to avoid him, she fell, hit her head on the marble fireplace and lost consciousness.” Beth swallowed hard. “Wes hid in the closet and called 911, but by the time they got to the house, it was too late to save her life, but they did arrest Sean. I kept thinking it could’ve so easily been me and Mikey.”
Conner didn’t say anything, but he continued to hold her tight while Beth couldn’t stop talking.
“Sean and I were divorced by then, but he kept coming to the house because he had visiting rights with Mikey. I was always afraid he’d get back at me for daring to divorce him. I got my brother Ted to come and hang out with us whenever Sean was expected.”
“Ted’s the mechanic in town, right?” Conner asked. “He’s a big guy.”
“Who wouldn’t hurt a fly, but Sean didn’t know that. When I found out what had happened to Wes’s mom, Sharon, I was physically sick.” Beth shuddered. “I took Wes in as soon as the courts would let me, not that he wanted to be anywhere near me at that point. He hadn’t known Mikey and I existed until Sean and I got divorced and Sean went to live with Sharon