around them sweet and pure, with a slight breeze rippling through the canopy of trees above them. In the distance she could see the blue of the lake, almost sapphire today in the brilliant sunshine reflecting the cloudless sky.
‘Me neither. Although don’t tell Haruka I said that.’
‘Why not?’
‘She’s a great believer in shinrin-yoku. Forest bathing. Walking in the forest to recharge your batteries. Apparently it’s good for the soul. We should experience the wonder of nature, the blossom, the leaves, as well as the imperfections of nature.’
‘She told me about wabi-sabi,’ said Fiona thoughtfully.
‘Forest bathing is another expression of it.’ He gave a short mocking laugh. ‘And when I’m here, I can almost believe in it.’
Fiona frowned and took Gabe’s arm, disturbed by the return of his characteristic cynicism, guiding him over to a nearby bench.
‘I don’t like it when you talk like that,’ she said softly, surprised by her own boldness.
‘Why not?’
‘Because you sound … bored with life. Weary of everything.’
He shrugged, focusing on something in the distance, his head slightly turned away from her. ‘Sometimes I am. I’ve been around longer than you. I’m trying though.’
She nudged his thigh sharply with her knee. ‘You’re not that much older than me and I’m not completely wet behind the ears. I might not live in London but I’ve certainly travelled in and out a lot and to plenty of other places. I’m not bored with life. You’ve stopped looking at things.’
‘Ouch,’ he said mildly as if he really didn’t give a damn, leaning back against the bench, his arms outstretched on either side as if he owned the damn thing.
‘Sorry Gabe,’ she said fiercely, annoyed by his seeming indifference, ‘but I hate it when you act like this. It’s not really you.’
Watching his profile, she watched him press his lips tightly together before he said distantly, ‘Isn’t it?’
‘No. It isn’t. I think it’s an act … so you don’t get caught out by anyone.’
‘What’s someone going to catch me out at?’
‘Having real feelings. Caring about things?’
She’d got to him, she could tell by the clenching of his jaw as he took an annoyed breath.
‘Like Haruka. You adore her really but you can’t say it. You always have to say things like, “she’s a grumpy old woman”. And yesterday you said you’d forgotten what a special place Japan is.’
Some of his stiffness receded and one of his hands crept onto her lap where he intertwined his fingers with hers. ‘When I’m with you, I remember all that stuff you do to make me see everything through fresh eyes. But … things have happened that I find hard to forget.’
Fiona winced at the flatness in his tone.
‘I understand that,’ she said, squeezing his fingers. ‘After the bullying at school, I locked myself away from other people for a long time but what helped was coming back to life and finding decent people who cared about me.’
‘You volunteering?’ he asked.
She shook his hand in exasperation, saying with asperity, ‘I’m not the sort of person who would jump into bed with someone if I didn’t care.’
He turned to face her, his blue eyes softening. ‘No, you’re not. Promise me one thing: don’t care too much. I’m not much of a catch.’ She shook her head but he carried on talking. ‘I’m sorry. Maybe it’s time I thought about leaving Tokyo instead of chasing memories. In the meantime, you’re right and instead of brooding on the past I should be making the most of this glorious sunshine and the gorgeous woman at my side.’ He kissed her cheek. ‘Come on, let’s try some of this forest bathing. And then I’ll take you for lunch down by the lake.’
She followed him back to the path, watching his broad back with a sad smile. He turned and took a shot of the skyline behind her as she stared down at him. Good job she hadn’t blurted out last night that she loved him. Did that fall into the category of caring too much? Now that really would have been making a dick of herself.
They walked by the lake and for a very late lunch found a charming if expensive restaurant – the prices included the waterside view – although Gabe insisted on paying. ‘You don’t have to,’ she protested. ‘We could go halves. Or I can pay for dinner.’
He paused and gave her a piercing stare as if he were seeing her for the first time. She noticed he’d done it a couple of times since they