lanterns hanging from the roof, the long red tassel dancing in the light breeze that stole through the open window.
Setsuko laid her elegant hand on top of Fiona’s and offered her a sad, gentle smile.
‘What happened?’
Fiona made a small noise, half laugh, half bunged-up snuffle. ‘I fell in love with Gabe again. Stupid, huh?’
‘And that does not bring you joy?’
Like a silent wraith, Haruka appeared and slid onto the bench, sandwiching Fiona against Setsuko. Even though she really didn’t feel like it, it made her smile. Two bodyguards flanking her. Love for both of them blossomed inside her.
‘It did but he’s still in love with Yumi.’
Next to her, Haruka actually growled and it drew another small laugh from Fiona. She tucked her arm through the older woman’s in a gesture that she couldn’t remember ever doing with her own mother. Something about the presence of the older woman soothed and grounded her. Being in the shop made her think more clearly. ‘In England, a famous poet, Tennyson, said, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Right now I find that difficult to believe.’ She pressed a hand against her breast bone.
Haruka nodded. ‘Mono no aware. We would translate it as poignancy, the joy of being in love tempered by the loss of that love. The joy of the cherry blossom and the sadness of knowing it will last only a short time.’
The three of them sat in silence, drinking tea and gazing thoughtfully out of the window at Haruka’s garden. Fiona studied the blossom on the weeping cherries drifting like snowflakes and the tracery of acer leaves dancing on the light breezes. Even though her heart felt heavy in her chest, like a solid lump of stone, she could appreciate the beauty of the garden. There was light after dark, laughter after tears and happiness after sadness. Next to her, she felt the body warmth of both Setsuko and Haruka, tiny indomitable women offering her their support.
‘The blossom is falling,’ said Haruka. ‘But we can hold on to the memories.’
Fiona thought about it and almost smiled. She had memories of Gabe. She should cherish those.
Haruka patted her hand. ‘Like the cherry blossom, you will love again.’
‘I hope so.’
‘But if you don’t enter the tiger’s cave you can’t catch its cub.’ Haruka turned and gave her of one her now familiar, impassive stares.
‘I think that translates as nothing ventured, nothing gained.’ She gave both women a rueful grimace. ‘I ventured, I gained, but now it’s time to go home.’
Haruka shook her head. ‘Fall seven times, stand up eight,’ she said fiercely.
Fiona took in a deep breath. ‘I know my limits but I want to thank you for everything.’
Gabe was only part of this. She’d always known he was out of her league and if she were honest with herself, he was far more suited to the worldly Yumi and her ilk.
She didn’t want her memories to be negative ones. ‘My stay has been amazing. I’ve learned so much and there are some things I’ll never forget. Your and Setsuko’s dignity and grace. Your generosity in inviting me into your home. Teaching me about wabi-sabi, kintsugi, the peace of nature and so many other things. I’m ready to go home. To put some of those things into practice. To talk to my mother.’
‘She called.’
‘I know.’
‘She’s lonely.’
‘I know but I can’t be the only answer to that. We both need to learn to live our own lives.’
She fumbled for her phone, which she’d tucked inside her pocket. Raising it above her head, she took a selfie of the three of them.
‘Where is Gabe now?’
‘He’s going in to Tokyo to meet Yumi.’
‘Foolish man.’
Fiona gave her a tight smile. ‘That’s what I told him.’
‘You didn’t.’ Setsuko gave her a cartoon-wide stare, while there was an approving smile in Haruka’s warm brown eyes.
‘I did. I told him he was a complete fool. He didn’t like it when I told him he was like a dog on a leash and that he was still in love with her and probably always would be.’
Both women exchanged startled glances. ‘And what did he say to that?’ asked Haruka with great interest.
‘I didn’t give him the chance. I walked out.’
‘Bravo.’ She clapped her hands. ‘I have been telling him this but does he listen? Maybe this time he will.’
‘Well he might do but I’m done with him. I don’t want to see him. I wish I could get an earlier flight.’ Was that