time, but especially when you don’t sleep. When you lack any necessary fuel, such as sleep or food, your resources aren’t as abundant as they are at other times, so protecting what you have becomes very important. When I make decisions, everything is either a heaven yes or heaven no (just trying to keep it clean here). If I don’t feel completely aligned with something, I don’t do it, because I don’t have the energy to spare. And I can honestly say that I don’t suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out). In the last few weeks I’ve been invited to a handful of social and work gatherings but declined because I’m clear about my purpose and motivation in spending time writing this book. I’d love for you to join me in celebrating JOMO—the joy of missing out.
Most of us feel tired and fatigued these days. I believe that’s because we feel like we need to say “yes” to every opportunity, invite, or request that comes our way. While it’s great to be open-minded and consider options, when you say yes to something, you need to be careful that you’re not inadvertently saying no to yourself and your own needs.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?
What is motivation? Motivation is a set of emotions (painful and pleasurable) that act as the fuel for our actions. Where does it come from? Motivation comes from purpose, fully feeling and associating with the consequences of our actions (or inactions).
Let’s do an exercise. Write down all the disadvantages you have to face if you do not learn to use the material in this book. What will it cost you right now and in the future? For example, you could write, “I will have to keep studying hard and settle for the same mediocre grades or job.” Or, “I won’t be able to spend time with my loved ones,” or “I won’t get that raise.” The key is to make sure you feel the emotions. Don’t make this an intellectual thing. We make decisions based on how we feel. Really feel the pain that you will have if you don’t do something about it. This is the only way for you to make a change last and to get you to follow through.
Pain can be your teacher, if you use it and not let it use you. Use pain to drive you to make things happen. If you are honest, you may write something like: “I will have to settle for a job I hate, make very little money, have no free time for myself or anyone else, and I will have to put up with it for the rest of my life, bored and frustrated.” This will get you to do something about it! Do this now.
Now, here is the more exciting part. Write down all of the benefits and advantages you will receive from learning the skills and techniques in this book. Make a list of things that will really get you excited and motivated. For instance: “I’ll be able to ace my tests, have more time to be with family, start that business, and learn new languages to travel the world.” Or, “I will have more free time to exercise and get healthy, to go away for spring break, and to spend more time with my boy/girlfriend!” Or maybe something simple like, “I will finally have some free time to just get caught up and relax!”
Again, make sure your reasons are compelling enough to be backed with real emotion. You must really get yourself to see and feel the benefits of learning this material. Do this now.
TYING IT ALL TOGETHER
Now, let’s apply all of this to learning. As you move through this “Motivation” section of the book, I want you to consider where learning fits into your passion, identity, values, and reasons.
It was not until I was an adult that I found my passion and purpose. Through my struggle to learn, I developed a love of learning because it helped me become unlimited, and my purpose is teaching other people to learn so they can unlimit themselves.
As a kid, I forced myself to study, trying to rise to the level of average. I had a lot of identity issues to resolve; I was the boy with the broken brain, and I believed that I was stupid. I had to change the way I saw myself and give up the identity that kept me locked into being unable to learn. Instead of saying “I