that look said. Next we would go to the wall. Would I be able to be brave like the others and walk down Beauty Road, head held high?
Dr. Oberheuser seemed puzzled by Zuzanna at first, for her scars were not as obvious as others’. Would she let Zuzanna go? Send me to the wall, I prayed. Let my sister live. Let one of us go home to Papa.
The doctor nodded to Binz.
Yes.
Zuzanna took hold of my hand. We’d go to the shooting wall together as we’d always planned, there for each other until the end.
Then something very strange happened.
The lights went out.
Not just the floodlights but also every light in the camp. It was as if the hand of God had come down and drenched us in the kind of velvety black where you can’t see a single thing. Girls called to one another. Suhren, Oberheuser, and Binz barked orders in the darkness. The confused dogs growled. You would not have believed how loud it was in the camp with everyone on Beauty Road, crying and calling out.
“Adelige, sit,” said Binz, her tin training clicker chirping in the darkness.
I grabbed Zuzanna by the waist and pulled her away from the group. Would the lights come back on any second? I felt my way along and brushed Dr. Oberheuser in the darkness. A wave of the terrible perfume she wore washed over us. I stepped on Binz’s foot and felt her arms windmill.
“Verdammtes Arschloch!” she said.
I headed for the linen shop, heart beating out of my chest, guessing the direction in the darkness, one arm around Zuzanna, the other outstretched in front of me like the cowcatcher in front of a train, bumping into people in the darkness. The fire from the crematorium in the distance was not bright enough to illuminate the camp, but I navigated by it. I practically dragged Zuzanna, her full weight against me.
I knew we were in the right area when I saw a bus in front of the linen shop, the vehicle lit from within, the only light in the camp. As we drew closer to the shop building, I heard French girls talking. I felt for the back window and helped Zuzanna climb in, then followed her, pulling my bad leg in with great effort. It was warm in the room, and the crowd smelled good as I pushed through, a mix of perspiration and perfume.
Zuzanna leaned against me. “I can’t go much farther.”
“We are almost there,” I said. “You can rest soon.”
I saw Anise’s friend Claire in the glow of a flashlight.
“Kasia,” she said.
I grabbed her arm. “Binz has us on her list. As soon as the lights come on, Zuzanna and I will be taken.”
“The lights won’t come on tonight,” Claire said. “The Russian girls turned them off. Szura flipped the switch at the transformer station once they heard Suhren was coming for the Rabbits. The whole electrical grid is down, and they’ll not turn it back on until morning.”
“How do you know these buses are really Red Cross?”
“Suhren has been stalling them, but they threatened to ram the gate. The girls in the office said Himmler himself authorized Count Bernadotte of Sweden to take us.”
Elaborate hoaxes had been made up before to get girls to go peacefully, but it was our only chance.
“Anise gave me a number,” I said.
“Make sure you move along,” said Claire. “This is the last bus. Two have already loaded and are waiting at the gate to go.”
I held Zuzanna and pushed through the crowd in the darkness. From the French I’d learned, I could tell the girls were all excited to be going home. As the last of them loaded, there were few left in the shop.
Once I made it to the front of the line, I saw two men stood at the back of the bus checking numbers. One I did not know. The other was fat Winkelmann, dressed in his long leather coat. The rear door of the bus was swung open wide to reveal French girls packed into the bus, standing, waiting. A blond nurse dressed in a white uniform stood inside, helping people up the few steps. If this was a Nazi hoax, it was an elaborate one, but German guards often wore the uniforms of doctors and nurses in order to fool us.
I breathed easier once I told Winkelmann the number Anise had given me and I helped Zuzanna into the bus. When my turn came to step up into the