here. In fact if the good people of Stearns knew about her past with churches, they’d run her out of town regardless of the help she gave now. Her heart squeezed painfully and she tried to shove the guilt aside.
That was a lifetime ago. Maybe she wasn’t good enough, but right now, she was the person volunteering. So the biddy could just get over herself.
Walking into the kitchen, Clarissa pasted a smile on her face, and walked by the women as if she hadn’t heard a word. And even though anger balled up painfully in her throat, she grabbed more food and headed back to the gym to give it to people who needed help all the while ignoring the disapproving frown of the woman who didn’t think she belonged.
Every part of Jed’s body hurt. He’d numbed his mind and heart to the destruction he’d seen. He and Pete had worked tirelessly alongside emergency workers for hours to get to the destroyed trailer park where Bev lived.
Miraculously, everyone who lived there had made it to a park storm cellar. Funny thing about tornadoes. They didn’t care much about socio-economics. The same storm had torn through one of the upscale blocks of town, too. Lester Pyle had found Mrs. Norene Albright in a hallway closet of her now destroyed home. Paramedics on the scene said she’d make a full recovery, but they’d insisted she make the trip to the Oklahoma City hospital for concussion-like symptoms and a broken ankle. They’d readily agreed when Lester volunteered to serve as ambulance service.
Bev and her kids were on their way to Bev’s sister’s. Jed dropped Pete off at his house and promised to be back in the morning.
Now all Jed wanted was to pick up Clarissa and Mack and get to the Triple Eight. The governor had called out the National Guard and troops protected the road into Stearns. Jed showed his ID, and they waved him through. People gathered around a fire pit burning outside the church. He saw Clarissa first, standing outside the door, under the lighted cross that promised sanctuary to those seeking.
When Clarissa saw him, she smiled tiredly, sadly, and Jed realized she didn’t know yet that Bev was safe. He climbed out of his truck, walked past several townspeople who called hello.
“You okay?” Jed asked, and she nodded, still holding herself back. Then he nearly kicked himself because of course, she wasn’t.
“Stupid question,” he said. “I know you have to be wiped out.”
She lifted her shoulder in a small shrug.
“I didn’t have much to lose. Not like some of these people,” she said waving a hand back at the church and the people housed inside. “I’ll be okay.”
When he told her Bev and her kids were safe, Clarissa visibly relaxed, but the wall she’d erected around herself, around any real emotions, didn’t come down.
“Mackenzie’s asleep with the twins from her Sunday School class,” she said. “I came outside because someone said the moon tonight was incredible.”
Jed looked up then, surprised to see she was right. The giant orange ball promised rebirth in time. When he turned back to her, he saw a tightness in her eyes he’d not seen before.
“You sure you’re all right?”
“I’ll be fine. Let me go get Mackenzie.” She turned then, and left him standing outside the church.
Clarissa didn’t bother arguing with Jed about going to his ranch. She knew him well enough by now to know she’d lose. Besides, she was exhausted emotionally and physically. And she wanted out of this church.
Scooping Jed’s daughter up, she took comfort in the little girl’s trust. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled when she saw Clarissa.
“I love you, and Jesus does, too,” Mackenzie said, then she closed her eyes again, completely at ease, totally unaware that her words were a vise around Clarissa’s heart.
Jed turned on to the gravel road that led to the Triple Eight and wondered at Clarissa’s quiet. Hopefully, it was just the result of being tired and emotionally depleted. She’d spent most of the trip to the ranch with her head resting against the window and her eyes closed, but her breathing made it pretty clear she wasn’t sleeping.
Something was bothering her, but she wasn’t sharing. Of course, from what he’d seen so far she wasn’t exactly the sharing kind. Tough way to do life.
The ride home showed the Triple Eight had avoided most of the damage. When he crossed the cattle guard, the bright lights burning in all the front windows downstairs