deeper than that." She wished she could read his gaze a bit better. "What's behind the wanderlust, the thirst for death-defying adventures?"
"Why does it have to be deeper than just loving the thrill of danger?" he challenged.
"Because it does." She thought about what his motivation might be. "Does it have something to do with your estranged relationship with your father?"
"No." He let out a sigh. "I just like to test myself against the biggest odds. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel like I'm not missing a moment that is meant to be lived."
His words took her in another direction. "It's about Paul. Your brother is so healthy now I sometimes forget how sick he was and how you used to dedicate your games to him. Did that continue when you started jumping off mountains?"
"Yes, it did. When Paul was first diagnosed with leukemia, he could barely get out of bed. When I'd come home from school, he was always eager to hear what I'd been doing. And it was my job to tell him a story that would take his mind off his pain. I needed adventures and experiences to share, so I went after them. When I left to go to college, I'd share my stories on the phone or in text. We always had something to talk about."
"And the adventures just got bigger and scarier. You kept pushing the boundaries."
"And somewhere along the line, it stopped being about Paul," he said. "I was on my own. I was accountable to no one, and there was nothing to hold me back. When I was challenging myself, I felt alive."
She gave him a thoughtful look. "What changed two years ago? Was there something specific that happened that made you decide you wanted to come home? That you wanted to be done with extreme adventures?"
"I'm not done, Hannah. I'm just taking my life in a different direction. I'm creating and sharing adventures with people who wouldn't get to have those experiences without me. I'm opening up their worlds, and I like that. I like being a part of a moment in their lives where they conquer their fear, try something new and step outside their comfort zone. It's fun and rewarding."
"I can see how it would be."
"But I can still travel. Just because I've reestablished some roots here in Whisper Lake doesn't mean I can't still take a vacation. I'm not trapped here. I choose to be here. And it feels different because it's my choice, because I was ready to come home."
"But you could choose to leave at any time."
"Just as you could," he said pointedly. "Are you trying to find another reason to push me away, Hannah?"
"I don't need another reason. I'm just saying??ou could leave."
"I could, but I don't have any plans to do that. What about you?"
She shrugged. "To be honest, I've thought about leaving on occasion, wondering if I need to see more of the world."
"Is something stopping you?"
"Probably things that aren't completely true anymore, but I haven't let go of them."
"Like your mom and your brother needing you to be here?"
"Yes. I know Tyler doesn't need to be here, but I have been looking out for my mom."
"If you really want to see the world, you should go see it. You know what I think, Hannah?"
"I'm not sure I want to know."
"You've been taking care of everyone else for so long that you don't know how to let them take care of themselves, but they can."
"Deep down, I know that. But it's a recent development."
"Not that recent. Your mom has been sober for almost four years, right? And your brother has been gone a while, too."
She drew in a breath and let it out. "All true. But it's not like I'm dying to go. I love this community. I love my job. There's just been something missing."
"Or someone?" he challenged.
She wasn't going to touch that comment. "I think we should go skating."
He smiled. "We'll get there. It's always easier to look at someone else's life than your own, isn't it?"
"Absolutely. But I think we've talked enough. You said we're going to skate; I want to skate."
"Great. Why don't you leave your bag here, so you don't have to worry about carrying it around while you skate?"
"Are you trying to make sure I come back here after skating?"
"Now that you mention it??
She couldn't help but grin at his absolutely see-through suggestion. "I'm going to leave my bag because I don't want to carry