to you that might have been construed as a threat?”
“Not to me,” she said. “He might have said he couldn’t wait until she was gone a few times, but he never said he planned on killing her.”
“Saying he wanted her gone is the precursor,” Hawk said. “He might come after you to shore up his story about the ring, and, if he did kill his mother, try to pin it on you.”
“I never should have started up with him,” she said. “He’s different than any man I’ve ever been out with. I always love the rugged, cowboy type, like you. He was more of the preppy type.”
“Why did you go out with him, then?” Hawk asked.
“He was a good kisser,” she said. Then she laughed. “Not so good in the sex department, though. I can count the number of orgasms I had with him on one hand.”
“That’s sad.” But she could tell from the tone of his voice that it wasn’t really sad, because it didn’t apply to him.
“Very.” She pulled her straw out of the plastic lid, the scraping sound filling the cab. Then she slid it back in. “I’m sorry for today. I wanted to help Aurora, and I thought you were being overly protective.”
“I probably was, but I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He glanced at her once more. “I love you, Jessica. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be with you forever.”
There it was, words she knew were coming, but she’d never really wanted to hear. She knew custom dictated she should say the words back to him, but they stuck in her throat. Instead she said, “What does forever mean, really?”
“Wow, I didn’t expect that response.”
How did she answer that? “It’s just… I’m just…”
An uncomfortable pause filled the cab until he said, “Just what?”
“Look, I’ve never had a relationship for more than a year.” She moved her straw up and down, and the grating noise fit her mood right now. “I thought you knew that.”
“Until now,” he said. “You and I are soul mates. We’ve fit like jigsaw pieces since we first met.”
“Yeah, but even a jigsaw puzzle that’s put together comes apart at the end,” she said.
“I didn’t expect to hear that, either.”
Instead of moving the straw, this time she took a drink. The cup was close to empty. “You’ve never met my mother.”
“No, and you’ve never really talked about her, except to say she was a good mother.”
“She was. She made sure I had everything I wanted. She spoiled the hell out of me.” She looked out the window. “The one thing she never gave me was a father. If you look at my birth certificate the listing under father is blank, because she had no clue who he was. Or maybe she just didn’t want to tell me, I don’t know. And please don’t say I’m sorry.”
“Okay, I won’t.” He picked up his own cup and took a drink. After he’d swallowed he said, “Where is your mother?”
“Who knows?” Jessica shrugged. “I haven’t talked to her in years. Mom goes through men like water through a sieve. In the eighteen years I lived with her she had at least twenty-five men I called uncle, and that’s only the ones I can remember. She always told me, Jessica, men are good for sex, and for providing money, but never get too close to them. You’ll end up hurt.”
“Harsh,” he said.
“The only man I ever let close to me was Grant, and then I dumped him. Now there’s you.”
“Are you planning on dumping me?”
The tightness in his voice brought tears to her eyes. Instead of holding them back she let them fall. “I don’t want to,” she said. “You’re the only stable person I’ve ever known.”
They were getting close to Bookman Springs now. She expected him to pull in at the ranch, which was right outside town, but instead he drove past.
“But yet you can’t say you love me,” he said.
“I don’t know what that means,” she said through her sobs. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m what you want. If you want to break up with me because I can’t give you what you want, I understand.”
“Horse shit,” he said. “You’re exactly what I want. And I’m not going to give you any of that ‘love means never having to say you’re sorry’ mush. Love means never wanting to be away from someone. Love means the person you’re with is your best friend.