I needed to know that she wasn’t going to argue against my plan.
My next swat was much harder than the last few, and then Abilene suddenly jerked against me and shouted, “Oh my God!”
When I lifted my weight off of her, she instantly sat up and held her stomach wide-eyed.
My heart lurched as panic took over. “The baby? Did I hurt the baby?” I didn’t think I was being too rough with her, but clearly I was the idiot who thought I could be kinky with a pregnant woman. “Do we need to get to the hospital?”
I knew that Mrs. H was arriving soon with the doctor to do an exam and ultrasound, but maybe we needed to act immediately.
She shook her head frantically, with her hand still on her belly. “No, no. The baby.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes and a smile ghosting her face. “I felt the baby kick!”
“It moved?” I placed my hand on her belly in hopes that I would feel it, too, but didn’t feel anything but her hand which she placed over mine.
We both sat in silence waiting for the baby to move again.
“The baby is stubborn like you,” she said, still smiling bigger than I’d ever seen her do. “Plus, I think it’s too early for you to feel from the outside.”
“If the baby’s stubborn, they got that from you.”
There was a knock on the door followed by Mrs. H popping her head inside. “You ready for the doc?”
I nodded. “Come on in.”
We realized that Abilene still had her pants pulled down, so we were both scrambling to get them pulled up before the doctor entered. I then helped Abilene off the floor and led her to the bed by the hand. Mrs. H and the doctor entered the room, rolling the ultrasound with them.
“How’s Mama feeling today?” the doctor asked.
“She felt the baby kick,” I answered for her. “Is that normal for this stage of the pregnancy?”
The doctor gave me a little smile and then looked back at Abilene. “It’s normal. Especially if you’re in tune with your baby.”
The looks the three women in the room gave me told me that I needed to stop trying to take over and relax. I wasn’t blind, nor was I dumb. I knew I could be an overbearing asshole, but I couldn’t help it. Although I did go up to Abilene’s side and hold her hand as the doctor began the examination. I would try to be good and remain quiet. I would try…
“Everything looks great, and the baby looks perfectly healthy.” She moved the ultrasound wand across Abilene’s belly and asked, “Do you want to know the sex?”
“Yes,” I answered immediately.
Abilene looked up at me and then the doctor. “You can see it?”
The doctor nodded.
Abilene then looked back at me. “You really want to know?”
At that very moment, I had never wanted anything more. “I really do. But this isn’t just my choice. It’s ours.”
Abilene squeezed my hand and then nodded at the doctor. “We want to know.”
“Congratulations, Mom and Dad. You’re going to have a baby boy.”
A boy. A Radcliffe boy.
“Oh my God,” Abilene said under her breath. Her hand squeezed even tighter.
A son.
I was going to have a son.
And a family.
A rush of emotions and thoughts gripped my heart like a vise. My life was about to change. Everything I had planned for and expected had just been altered. Reality sunk in. No more holidays alone. No more Christmas nights spent having dinner with my father and no one else.
No. I wanted more for my son. I wanted a family tree that we decorate together. I’d never had a tree that was mine, full of ornaments that held special memories or homemade by me at school. I didn’t bake cookies for Santa or write a letter of all the gifts I hoped to get.
No. I just got an envelope of money every year when at this very moment I swore to myself my son would never receive that as a gift from me. Never. He’d get a bike, and a wagon, and a swing set—all that I built myself.
And it wouldn’t be just me and my son sipping bourbon by the fire. It would be the three of us. I saw Abilene in my future too. I knew she’d be a good mother. That fighting spirit in her would do good for my son. He’d grow up with two powerful parents who would raise him to be a