used them with her since she escaped. They made him sick.
Something moved in her eyes. It could’ve been a trick of the light. “It’s not your fault,” she said. “He’s dead. I guess that’s a victory.”
He didn’t believe her.
“Is that it?” she asked after a few moments of awkward silence.
He jerked back.
No, that wasn’t fucking it. He wanted to tell her that not a day in these past ten years had gone by without him thinking about her. He wanted to say that he was in awe of her, of her strength, her power. How she was standing up straight, how she managed to maintain her beauty when ugliness was all she had known for the past ten years. He wanted to ask her out to fucking dinner so he could look at her. How he wanted to kill every single piece of shit who hurt her . . . and then some.
He wanted to tell her that if he lived one thousand lifetimes, he would carry the guilt of what happened to Adam with him. But he said none of it.
“Yeah,” he said. “That’s it.”
“Thank you, Detective Novak.” She held the door tightly, motioning toward the exit with her head.
He moved toward the door, tipped his imaginary cap. “Ms. Darby.”
Then she closed the door in his face.
Orion tasted acid as she walked through the door of Jaclyn’s apartment. She had thrown up in the kitchen sink right after she’d slammed the door in Maddox’s face.
Was it because of the news he carried or the man himself?
It had to be the former. It was the former. Something cracked inside her with the knowledge that he could do that, that he could take his own life. It was a mercy not given to them. Nothing was theirs, not even their deaths.
Orion didn’t know how Jaclyn was going to take it. She had watched her spiral this past month. Watched her change, her eyes hooded, shoulders drooped. Orion postulated Jaclyn wasn’t acclimating all that well, and how could she? She had spent five more years in The Cell than Orion. Five more years of rape, savagery, brutality. Orion thought back to her own issues with the news, the bouts of sobbing in the shower, the anger so visceral she could feel it pumping through her veins, the hunger for vengeance blooming within her. She could only imagine what Jaclyn was going through, and how she would respond.
Their apartments had the same layout. They were both on the same floor, but at opposite ends of the building. Jaclyn’s was wildly different than Orion’s, cluttered and messy, the sight of it making Orion cringe.
“What are you doing?” Orion asked, looking around the small room piled high with books she didn’t recognize, food in packaging that was somewhat familiar. That’s what everything was now, strange but familiar. The world hadn’t changed completely, but the snack food wrappers had fucking moved on. And the phones. And the TV channels. And the people, consumed with technology, with themselves.
“I’m catching up,” Jaclyn said, mouth full. She was holding a bag of chips in one hand, a bottle of vodka in the other.
“On what? Alcoholism? Obesity?” Orion asked dryly.
Jaclyn chuckled. “The past fifteen years,” she replied, not looking up from the television. “We’ve missed out on so much, Orion.” She couldn’t hide the catch in her voice. The slight hint of sorrow. “So fucking much has passed us by.” She pointed to a small black box on the coffee table, plugs leading from the back of it to the big screen in front of them. A remote control laid beside it. “I mean, these fucking video games.” She pointed to the box, made an exploding gesture. “Have you played one yet?”
Orion shook her head.
“I’m telling you, girl. It’s some crazy shit. They have every game you could imagine. And you don’t have to buy it or put it in. You just download it!”
Orion glanced at the screen. A blonde woman was riding what Orion guessed was a dragon. She wasn’t much for fantasy TV. She loved reading about it, but she didn’t like seeing someone else’s depiction of what the story could be. She liked having the power of imagination in her own mind.
“That’s Daenerys,” Jaclyn explained. “She’s the mother of dragons and all-around badass. I was meant to read the books before watching this, but they’re long and I’m more of a visual girl.”
Orion had them on her Kindle. Game of Thrones. She’d been meaning to get around