took a deep, steadying breath.
Shelby bit her lip. “Yeah, I guess I get that feeling. I just, I don’t understand why you’d risk going to prison.”
The drone of the TV was silenced by Jaclyn hitting mute and turning to face Orion.
“That’s what I’m saying! I feel you, girl, I do,” she said. “Something about that revenge, that justice, it was sweet and it was good, and it did feel powerful. It felt right. But that was self-defense, okay? That was warranted. This . . .” She waved her hand at Orion. “What you’re talking about? It’s something else entirely. Vigilante shit. It’s premeditated. It comes with too many fucking cons. It’s not fucking worth it, Orion.”
Orion folded her arms across her chest, ready to square off. It was not the first time the two of them had argued, nor would it be the last. In a way, Orion appreciated Jaclyn for this, for keeping her on her toes. For playing devil’s advocate. For being a thorn in her side.
“So you’re saying you wouldn’t have done it to the doctor, while he was raping you, one of the many times, if you had had the chance?” She flung the words like the weapons they were. And she knew she was right. But she knew they were right too. To be thrown into a jail cell, after everything they had been through, could not be an option. And, in reality, it never was. She knew from that night, from the moment she first considered killing him, that she would rather die than spend another night in a cell.
Jaclyn narrowed her eyes. “Without hesitation,” she replied. “But those are different circumstances and you know it.”
Orion tapped her bare foot against the carpet. “How are they different circumstances?” she asked. “He did that to you. To me. To Shelby. They sold us like fucking merchandise. Just because we escaped doesn’t mean he’s going to stop. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s walking free. People like him don’t ever stop—they can’t. It’s a sickness. How is stopping him not self-defense? Curing the sickness.”
Jaclyn sighed. “I know what you’re going through. I was in that goddamn cage longer than either of you. If I’m being true to myself, I’d like to cut the cock off every last one of these breeders out here. But there are laws. There are men with badges and guns calling the shots. There is an entire judicial system, Orion. They know more about us these days than we know about ourselves!” She paused. “The state takes care of the criminals, babe. Catching monsters, locking them up. All that shit. Let them do their job.”
Orion gritted her teeth. “But he needs to die. He needs to feel just a little bit of my pain. Our pain.” Her voice was sharp. Ugly.
Jaclyn nodded. “I don’t disagree.”
Orion threw up her arms, rose from the bed, and began to pace. “This is a prominent cancer doctor we’re talking about. And the evidence against him is what, the account of a drugged-up girl who says she recognizes his shoes and cologne, and his badge from when he raped her numerous times? I’m not used to this world, but I know they need a fuck of a lot more than my word to sentence him.”
“You saw his badge,” Jaclyn offered.
“I did, once,” Orion agreed. “For a split second. While I was chained to a bed, about to be raped. Malnourished, beaten, broken. Having been locked in a cell for years. My credibility isn’t exactly ironclad here. His fancy attorney will just convince everyone who needs convincing I’m some poor, damaged girl with traumatic memories, anger, and nowhere to put it. And he’ll have a whole world of wealthy friends to back him up. And, even if he is somehow convicted, he’d serve, what, like two years?”
Jaclyn chuckled. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”
Orion narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, every second since we got out. Every second since I saw him.”
Though they hadn’t been out for long, she’d spent enough time on this in her mind to realize she had limited options. She’d played out different scenarios. Different ways she could make him bleed. Make him pay. And none of those ways included a fucking judge and a witness stand. Had they not escaped, how long would it have taken those same cops to find them? Ten years it had been already for Orion. For years, two ex-cons held these girls and turned a senile old