possible. He was sure that Higgins would be happy to join them in celebration, but that wasn’t what had him so elated. Whether Miss Thatcher realised it or not, she settled into a role as mistress of his home. He was not only glad for it but took heart with the ease in which she was doing so.
He had known for some time that he had romantic intentions towards her, but had little understanding of her own feelings. Perhaps her readiness to take this role was a sign that she too had hoped for a connection.
“But it’s your house, and I am just an employee. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have taken such a liberty,” Miss Thatcher said, almost in panic.
His smile faded, realising she was truly appalled by her sudden leap of formalities.
“Bridget,” he said softly to catch her gaze again. “You could never overstep here. You are an equal to me, both in raising Betsy and all other matters,” Lord John said frankly.
“But it shouldn’t be that way,” Miss Thatcher whispered barely loud enough for him to hear.
He was baffled by the sudden change in her. She was near to tears. Lord John rose from his chair and came to sit next to her.
“Bridget, what’s the matter? Has something happened? You can tell me anything.”
He was certain now that something had occurred since last they were together that had changed the lady’s countenance.
“I fear that people are getting the wrong idea. I’ve had far too much leeway with raising Betsy. I shouldn’t be made a guest of honour at balls or inviting guests to your home. I am just a governess. People are beginning to talk, and I fear it would wound your reputation far more than mine.”
“Wound my reputation?” Lord John half laughed at the notion. “If living with my mother and her constant obsession with what the Ton thinks has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t give a damn what people say. I need all those things you said, I asked them of you, and for good reason. I know you are a capable woman, and I know that you love Betsy as if she was your own. Perhaps it was wrong of me to ask it of you,” Lord John mused. “I didn’t think about ramifications you might receive because of it.
“Did someone harass you? Was it my brother? Did he come back?”
“No, no one’s been here,” Miss Thatcher assured him.
He had a feeling she was evading his questions with her answers.
“But I’ve asked too much of you?” Lord John struggled to understand.
“No, not at all,” Miss Thatcher said quickly.
“Then please help me,” Lord John reached over, taking Miss Thatcher’s hand. “Tell me what is swirling in your mind that has you so down?”
“I just know,” Miss Thatcher replied slowly as she thought out her words, “that once you are published and a successful author – and I have no doubt that you will be – that you may consider finding a companion to help you raise Betsy. I fear that my presence here – and what that has entailed – has stirred up concern with people in your circle.
“I know you say you don’t care,” she added quickly when Lord John started to protest. “But you may care when the time comes, and some ladies have certain opinions of what has transpired here. How will you find a good match for yourself and a good mother for Betsy if I have tainted the waters?”
Lord John chuckled at the thought of Miss Thatcher ruining his chances for a wife. If only she could see that he had her alone in his heart. He would never desire another woman to be Betsy’s mother or his wife.
He removed his hand from hers and tilted her chin so her soft sea-green eyes met his. They were as round as ever and so full of worry. He could see the slight quiver in her soft bottom lip as she tried hard not to let a tear escape. He wondered if she was truly upset over the reason she gave or that she too had feelings for him. The thought of him looking at another how he looked at her made him twist inside with disgust. Perhaps she felt the same way.
“My dear Miss Thatcher, why is it that those of your sex are always fretting over making matches? Perhaps you have been reading more Gothic romances than you have willingly admitted?”
Miss Thatcher’s mouth opened in shock