Higgins said softly. "You always had the body for military life, but I fear you have too much of a conscience to make a career of it."
"You say that as if it is a bad thing," Lord John said with a scoff.
"Not at all. I could never do such a thing even if my body was made for such work. I, like you, find bloodshed and these constant wars England finds itself in all a senseless waste of God-given life.
"I suppose I am just lucky that my father knew I wouldn't last one minute as a military man," Higgins added with a chuckle. "He knew I was meant for the church from infancy."
Lord John let his body relax, and a smile widen his chiselled face. He could easily picture the young boy that Higgins had been sitting up in bed reading and re-reading his Latin bible. Often, he woke Lord John to share some exciting insight he had just gleaned.
Lord John wondered how his life would have been different if his family hadn't favoured military life for him.
Even in his teenage years, he had quickly overshadowed his male relations. In school, he always excelled in sports and exercise. His teachers did all they could to encourage him to focus his studies on a future in the military.
While his broad shoulders, naturally toned frame and large nature had gained him accolades in physical effort, it was philosophy where his passions lay.
His mind had been awakened by Plato and his desire to test common knowledge by Copernicus. Lord John wanted to make his mark on the world now.
He had studied the histories of past civilisations and societies. He wanted to use all this knowledge to create his own works. Works that would not only entertain the reader, but make them question their thoughts, their mind and their place.
Lord John wished to be on a par with the great writers of the past, such as Shakespeare and Homer. They took their audience on grand adventures but also made people question what was really important at the core of each human being. Lord John wanted to stir that emotion in others just as his heroes had stirred it in him.
It was a tall order, and he knew it. Perhaps that was why he struggled so much to get his best work out. How could one sit on an equal footing with all of these great men? How did one just write a work of such complexity that it stood the test of time?
All of these questions and desires of his had been thrown aside by his family. Instead, he was told what to do, what his future would hold.
Lord John knew in many ways he should be grateful – and he was for the privileged life he led when so many others had much less. He was determined to prove that privilege shouldn't prevent him from being who he knew he was on the inside.
If that meant he lost everything and lived a simple life, he was willing to do it. Well, he had been willing to do it. It was only him before. Now he had a greater responsibility than his own life and his own happiness.
Just as he didn't want his future limited and dictated for him, he would try to give Betsy the same chance to choose. If he lost the bet, and live impoverished with the child, many doors would close to her.
He didn't want to sacrifice his own happiness, but at the same time he didn't find it right to ask a small child to do what he was unwilling to do himself.
It was with this determination that he set back home after his meeting with Higgins. They had changed the topic, and John was surprised to say that he had wished he had taken his friend’s call sooner. Higgins had been a pillar of calm and courage for Lord John.
Though it wasn't ideal, Betsy would have to go to school for just the year. She would start right away despite it being autumn. Of course, Betsy would come home for a holiday, and then he would shower her with the love that the Smeltings had wished for her.
Once the year was over and John's goal complete. He would bring the child home to live with him and be raised in a loving atmosphere.
It was the best he could do in the situation put in front of him. He was sure that he would win the bet with the