head. “Tell me everything. Don’t leave anything out. If you ever loved me, give me this. Don’t soften the blow.”
He throws his head back and starts talking. Each word is like a stab to my heart. I listen intently, fading back to the fourteen year old who was ridiculed in school because Sasha Crane declared a war on me. Cancer or not, she was a ruthless, heartless bitch.
From his story, it seems she hasn’t changed. Now, we can add manipulative to the list of all her glowing traits.
When he’s done, I notice he’s winded, his chest heaving with beads of sweat rolling down his temple. The nurse in me gets concerned about his blood pressure as his face turns an unnatural shade of red.
I leap up and run to the kitchen, racing back with a bottle of water and shoving it into his shaking palms.
“Take slow sips and try to breathe deep.” I wipe the sweat off his face with my shirt.
“I’m okay.” He struggles to say. “It actually feels good to get it off my chest. My plan was to tell you on Friday night when everyone left. It was eating me up inside, and you deserved to know what was going on. I kept telling myself I was protecting you.”
His arms circle around my waist, his face resting against my stomach.
“Bizzy, I had no idea of your history. Mathis brought it up before we left for Tampa, the day he figured out my feelings for you had grown. He warned me, and I was disgusted. It was over though; I never planned to see her again. You have to believe me; she was faceless to me. She still is.”
My hands rest on his head, my fingers threading though his silky hair. He hugs me tighter to him.
“Shaw, it all makes sense—the sex, the timeline, the pregnancy. But I saw something on your face the other night, and it wasn’t just the way you locked eyes with Mathis. It was more. When you looked at me, it was a confirmation of sorts. That’s how I knew. But what makes you so sure this is your baby?”
“Exactly as you described. With her parting words on Friday, it was the way Sasha looked at me. She’s still a haughty, selfish, arrogant, conceited bitch. There’s no denying it, but in that small millisecond, something changed. It was like she was pleading with me to believe her.
“I’ve been praying nonstop for so many things since this all started, but most recently, I’ve concentrated on two things. One is you don’t leave me. The other is that I am wrong, and the baby isn’t mine.”
My knees go weak with the raw need in his tone. I sink back into his lap, tugging his hair until he’s looking at me.
“I’m not mad at you for having a life before me. I’m not stupid. A man like you has needs, and even though I hated thinking about it, I’ve always known you had a sex life. Never did I think you’d be with Sasha Crane, but I can see it. You’re both beautiful people with successful law careers. You two make more sense than us.”
He goes stiff, his nostrils flaring, and I find myself being crushed against him.
“Don’t you ever say that again. Nothing about me makes sense anymore without you. It took me too long to realize that. You are the beautiful one in this situation. Everything about you is so pure, so genuine, so blinding. It’s hard to breathe sometimes when I think about a future without you.”
“Sasha’s not going to give up, Shaw. If she wants you, she’s going to take measures to be in your life.”
“I can’t stand her, Bizzy. I may not know exactly what happened all those years ago between you and her, but I swear, if I’d had a clue, I never would have given her the time of day. Shit, I would have made her life miserable for saying one crass word to you. You have to believe me. Only one other time in my life have I felt this helpless, and that’s when Nick was diagnosed.”
Silence hangs in the air, and I know he’s telling me the truth.
“I believe you. Still, I’m going to need some time to think.”
“Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow. Today, I need to sleep.”
He doesn’t let me go, even as I wiggle to free myself from his hold. His chest vibrates as he starts laughing.