and offered to help out. No one thought twice until Claire came down, raging, and insisted I come with her. Everyone’s eyes bulged as I fought her, dragging me away.
She laid me on a cot, situating herself beside me, and held me close, doing the only thing she knew to do as my heart was breaking. We laid there until it was time for our shift, her sleeping, me replaying the events over and over in my mind.
Shaw’s anguished expression…
His face drained of color…
The fear in his eyes…
Then the silence, undeniable silence…
Shaw’s going to be a dad…
Claire pushes against my side, bringing me back to the meeting. I sit up and look around, locking eyes with Mathis, who is staring at me intently. His expression is blank, but I see the heat behind the gaze. He’s sending me a message that says, we’re going to talk. I wouldn’t be surprised if Shaw and Nicky are waiting at the nurse’s station when this meeting ends.
Pushing the thought aside, I make myself pay attention.
“So as we help them establish a protocol, we’ve been asked to provide employees willing to do travel assignments. Our employees know how we make things happen with our unit. They want the same. If you are interested, come talk to me. We will go through a process to make sure your shifts are taken care of. This is time sensitive, so let me know soon.”
She takes a few questions, but I lean into Claire’s ear, not understanding. “What just happened?”
“From what I understand, we bought a hospital in Charlotte. They need help everywhere, Pediatric Oncology included. Any nurse willing to travel and help train is being asked to talk to her.”
Evie talks a little more, going over some patient charts and a few special appearances coming up on the wing. When the meeting is over, I remain seated, waiting for Mathis. Claire stays with me, slipping my phone in my hand as he approaches.
“Hey.” He squats down and places his hands on my knees. “Are you doing okay?”
“No,” I answer honestly, willing myself not to cry.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but he’s worse than you. And Nick’s been climbing the walls.”
“I’ll give Nicky a call. I just got this back.” I tap on my phone screen. “It’s been off since—”
“We know. Claire’s been keeping me updated.”
I swing my head to her, and she shrugs unapologetically. “I had to let them know you weren’t dead in a ditch,” she goes on to explain.
“Bizzy, I can’t even imagine what’s going through your head. We all love you. Talk to me, talk to Nick, and I beg you, talk to Shaw.” Mathis speaks in his soothing doctor voice.
Usually, I love this voice, but using it on me seems condescending. Instead of lashing out, I take a few deep breaths, reminding myself this isn’t his fault.
“I’ll call him when I can hold a conversation without breaking down. It’s going to take time.”
“I understand, and I promise to try and stay neutral, but you need to know, he didn’t want this. Sasha means nothing to him. Without sounding crass, he has to live the rest of his life with this mistake.”
“The baby really is his, isn’t it?” Saying it out loud sears my throat.
“He believes so, and he’s trying to do the right thing here. Demanding the paternity test was the first of many steps. After you ran out on Friday night, he explained everything. I know you’re hurting, but he’s killing himself over this.”
“I’ll be fine after a few days. The shock is wearing off. It’s probably time I go home, get some sleep, sort my head, and come up with what I want to say.”
They share a look, and I get an uncomfortable vibe. “What?”
“Shaw went to your house on Friday night. He’s sworn to stay until you come home and talk to him. The only time he left was to come up here during your shift.”
“He’s been here?”
“Yeah, he’s been in the main waiting room, hoping you’d call. He wanted to be close.”
My heart and stomach both twist at the thought of him sleeping in the uncomfortable chairs. Instead of responding, I turn on my phone and watch the notifications pop up. So many voicemails, text messages, and emails I don’t dare try to go through them yet.
Exhaustion finally sinks in, and I feel the effects of spending the last thirty-eight hours here.