my eyes, scrubbing a hand down my face. “You’re not imagining this shit. I’m not really sure what happened. It came out of left field.”
I explain Bizzy’s visit two weeks ago and when my feelings shifted.
“It was like a fucking light bulb, man. You can’t understand. She was so beautiful, even with the tears streaming down her cheeks. My heart hurt as I held her close and felt every heave of her chest while she cried for Grady. When she told me she loved me, like she has a hundred times before, I felt it down to my soul. Something snapped. Everything changed for me.”
Repeating the story has the same feelings bubbling to the surface. My heartbeat quickens with the primal need to erase her pain, my fingers ache to thread through her hair and massage her scalp to calm her tears, and my arms want to wrap back around her and protect her from the hurt of losing another patient. I want to demolish anything that takes the light out of Bizzy’s gorgeous face. The desire inside intensifies.
“JESUS! You can’t fuck this up.”
“I know, you asshole! That’s why I’m going to take it slow. She may not even feel the same way!”
The privacy blinds start to close in my office, and I give Gail an appreciative nod.
“Okay, well, let’s cover a completely different topic. Tell me about Sasha.”
I jerk my head to him so quick, my neck cracks. “What the fuck are you talking about? What about Sasha? She has nothing to do with this. She’s no one.”
“Did you not leave the bar with her a few weeks ago?”
“That’s none of your fucking business, but seeing as you’re asking, you know the answer. It was a mistake, a big mistake that won’t happen again.”
“Well, let’s lay this shit out, big brother, because you need to know. You have a slow burn inside that seems to be lit by our favorite girl. The same girl we’ve loved since Nick and she declared they were best friends for life. That same girl that was tortured for years by Sasha fucking Crane!”
“What?” I feel the blood draining from my face. No fucking way. What are the chances?
“Yeah, that bitch has had it out for Lizbeth for ten fucking years. Even with the two year age difference, she found a way to hurt her every chance she got. It’s not my story to tell, but Nick says it was awful. He would have killed Sasha Crane if he could have.”
“Why didn’t I know?”
“You’re older. You were in college and then law school. You did an internship in New York. Every time you were home, it was about holidays or birthdays. Bizzy never, ever talks about it.”
“Motherfucking son of a goddamn bitch. The girl who hurt her in high school, the one who made fun of her for losing her hair and being plump because of the steroids was Sasha?”
“Same bitch.”
“I fucked that woman?”
“Poor judgment.”
“Bizzy can’t know.” My stomach turns in revulsion.
“She’s not going to hear it from me, and lucky for you, Nick was drunker than us. He didn’t see. He’d kick your fucking ass.”
“Shit, shit, shit…” I hang my head and rub my temples where a massive headache is forming.
“You have to be careful, Shaw. I would never get in your personal business, but this is too delicate to fuck up. Be sure of everything before you make a move because you can’t go back.”
“Damn.” I keep massaging my head. “I’m not sure whose side you’re on.”
“You’re my brother, but I love her, too. Tell me I don’t need to worry.”
“You don’t need to worry.”
I glance up in time to see his worry disappear, and his lips twitch.
“You enjoying this?”
“Oh, hell yeah. Been wondering for years if you’d ever find a woman. Mom’s gonna flip her shit. If Bizzy gives your sorry ass a chance and this thing takes off, Mom will have your wedding planned and hounding you about grandkids.”
Any other time, his words would make me break out in hives, but the image of Bizzy as a mother fills my head and I stop thinking all together.
“Promise you I won’t fuck this up. She’s the most important person in this scenario. I’ll proceed with caution.”
“Gotcha.” He moves to the sofa and lies down, spreading out, and looks at me with a grin. “So tell me about your weekend plans.”
I shoot a message to Gail to tell her to hold my calls as I loosen my tie. Then I relax and