to her feet. She had a pregnancy test here somewhere, as she’d bought them a lot before getting pregnant with Chaz. Sure enough, she found a box of two in the bottom drawer of the bathroom vanity, and she took one into the toilet room, closed the door, and locked it.
She didn’t want to see the results of this test. But she had to know.
Only minutes later, Willa sat on the closed toilet and sobbed. She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, wondering why the Lord had given her a baby when He wouldn’t give one to Montana and Bishop.
“How can I ever tell her?” she said aloud, her voice so strangled it didn’t even belong to her.
Now that she had the two pink lines staring her in the face, Willa’s back hurt. Her hip twinged with pain. She couldn’t sit up straight, and she absolutely couldn’t let anyone else know about this for a good, long time.
She hated these feelings, because they mirrored so closely how she’d felt when she’d found out she was pregnant with Mitch. She hadn’t been the best of people then, and everything about his pregnancy had been shrouded in shame and embarrassment.
Willa straightened her shoulders and wiped her face. She was not going to put any of that on this baby. This baby was a huge blessing, and she tilted her head back and looked up at the stark, white ceiling.
“You gave me this blessing,” she murmured. “I must be strong enough to bear it.” She didn’t feel strong enough, and she instantly prayed for that strength. Mentally and physically. An overpowering feeling of love drove through her, and she reminded herself that she didn’t have to go through this pregnancy alone. She had an amazing husband. All of her ranch wives. Three older children who could and would help her.
“How can I tell Montana?” she asked next, but the Lord stayed silent on that question.
“Willa?” Etta called, and she’d run out of time. She couldn’t wipe her tears or wash away the evidence of her sobbing.
In fact, when Willa managed to stand and get the door open to leave the toilet room, Etta stood in the bathroom doorway, Chaz on her hip. His face was covered in cookie residue and chocolate, which meant he’d climbed into the pantry somehow.
“In the tub,” Etta said with authority, and she swung the two-year-old into the bathtub. He started to cry, but Etta trained her eyes on Willa and marched toward her. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” She scanned Willa from head to toe, trying to find the source of bleeding or unrest.
But it couldn’t be seen, at least not yet.
Willa held up the pregnancy test, a fresh set of tears coating her cheeks. “I wonder if you might be so kind as to fetch Cactus for me.”
Etta took the pregnancy test, her eyes rounding. She only looked at it for a moment and then she engulfed Willa in a tight, enormous hug. “Oh, sissy, you’re going to be fine.”
“I don’t see how,” Willa said, leaning on the other woman’s strength. “And how can I possibly tell Montana? She and Bishop have been trying for a baby for so long, and it seems wholly unfair.”
Etta said nothing, because there was nothing to say. When she stepped back, her expression held tears too. “I’ll take the kids and get Cactus.”
“I don’t feel good,” Willa said. “I want to come so badly, but I don’t know….” She let her voice trail off, as everything seemed to make more tears arrive.
“Libby and I will handle it all.” Etta moved to the doorway and called, “Libs. She’s in here. Come on back, would you?”
Willa didn’t want to face Libby—the newest Glover in-law—in her bathroom, with fresh tears running down her face, and a positive pregnancy test being waved around by Etta.
Libby came through the door just as Etta started the tub to clean up Chaz, who sniffled and looked at Willa like she’d save him. “Everything okay?”
“I can just call Cactus,” Willa said.
“I have your phone.” Libby held it out to her, her big, brown eyes filled with concern and compassion. Willa stepped over to her, and Libby backed up out of the doorway. “Are you okay?”
“Sort of,” Willa said, trying to smile. She should be strong for the younger women in the family. As a pastor, shouldn’t her faith be perfect? What would they all think of her if she showed any weakness at all?
“Lynnie,” Libby said, falling back to the