she felt over her father’s death, and from the many innocent lives Maura had destroyed.
“Is this necessary today? The forecast is better for tomorrow,” Derrick shouted above the howl of wind and splatter of rain.
Lexia didn’t look at him. Her eyes tracked those of her people, slipping and scrambling in the mud below her, running laps around the compound. “War doesn’t wait for good weather. They need to be ready.”
“We’re going to war now?” Derrick asked, stepping closer to hear her over the weather.
“What’s the matter, Derrick? You’re the one who warned of the storm coming.” She turned her head to face him, so he could see the tears streaming from her distraught blue eyes, mixing with the rain running down her face. “The storm is here. Are you afraid to fight?” His face filled with pity, his eyes softening with a sadness Lexia felt she didn’t deserve. “Don’t give me your pity, Derrick. I do not deserve pity. Everything that has happened, I’ve brought upon myself.”
The saddest of smiles formed on his lips and he reached out for her hand, clasping it as he turned to face the hunters below, still running, fighting against the rain and mud. “You never asked to be born this way, Lex. Yes you’ve made mistakes but you do not deserve any of this. I will fight, fight by your side until my last breath.”
“What have they done with Alice?” Lexia asked sadly, needing a change of subject.
“She’s sedated in the infirmary. Lucy left shortly after you. I’ve left someone watching her. She’ll be okay.”
Derrick’s words only made Lexia hate herself even more. Alice would never be okay. Lexia failed her friend. “She’s been turned into a hunter, Derrick, which will never be okay.”
“We’ll help her; help her cling to the light left inside of her.”
She shouldn’t have to. She should have been safe.
The tears started again. “It was never supposed to be this way,” she sobbed, clinging onto Derrick’s hand. He was the only thing keeping her standing. Her whole body felt as if it were shaking, the churning, and the dread within her uncontrollable. She felt like screaming; screaming until her voice was raw and her lungs burned for oxygen. She wanted to find her mother to hit her and keep hitting her until every ounce of anger left her. Lexia held a flurry of emotions and feared she may rip apart and never be put back together again. So broken inside, Lexia marveled at the fact she was still up and walking.
God, I’m so tired, so tired of fighting, of life… Just hold it together a little longer, Lex. Just win this fight and then it can end.
No longer able to stand still, Lexia let go of Derrick’s hand. “I need to run,” she called as she slid down the slope toward the unit running below. Her hands dug through the wet earth as she went. Hitting level ground, Lexia pushed off the hill sprinting. Her feet struggled to find traction. The rain was horizontal, blinding her as she ran head first into it, but she kept going, kept pushing herself faster and harder, and when the unit went inside, tired and filthy, Lexia still ran. While she was moving every inch of her body burned with her effort, the pain inside her heart and her soul dulled. So she ran, ran until the storm passed on and day was heading to night. It was only when Derrick stood in her path that she collapsed, the pain inside of her rushing back like a tidal wave.
“Enough, Lexia,” he said, hauling her up. “You have punished yourself enough.”
“No punishment will ever be enough to make up for what I’ve done,” she shouted at him, slamming her fist into his chest. “I could save every one of these people, end my mother’s life and still it will never be enough.” Her other fist slammed feebly against him. The anger inside of her quickly extinguished with utter loss. “God, I want to save them, Derrick. I need to, but I have no idea how. How do I get out of this mess? How do I end this nightmare?”
Derrick gripped Lexia tightly as she buried her head against him. He wanted to have Lexia back so many times, to look into her blue eyes instead of Maura’s gold. Yet he felt no joy from having her here. Cupping her mud-stained face in his hands, he gazed down at her. “I don’t know, Lex, but what