asks me.
“Fine. We’re fine. Thank you.” I turn and hurry across the street back to the hotel on the verge of tears. I don’t know if they’re tears of relief or just from the stress of all of this, but I try to keep them hidden and am grateful it’s dark as I try to get myself together before Josh sees me crying.
9
Kat
I decide not to mention our outing to Lev. I feel stupid for how I reacted to that man and also reckless for having gone out at all. There are men from the Russian mob looking for us, and it was just a stupid thing to do. I know Lev will be pissed, and I don’t need that right now.
Josh is sleeping in the king-size bed of the studio-style hotel room. I’m sitting in the chair at the desk finishing the second little bottle of vodka while I watch him, his little face turned toward me, eyes closed, mouth slightly open as he hugs Wally to him, sleeping soundly.
After that night at Nina’s, I didn’t know what I’d do about the pregnancy. Abortion wasn’t really ever an option for me. I understood that some women chose that route, but it just wasn’t even something I considered. Maybe it was because of how I grew up, although the opposite makes more sense. But for me, I just knew how much I could love a child. Maybe it’s that love I missed for all those years that did it. I wanted to have my own baby and give him all the love in the world like growing up showered with it is normal. Like it’s the most normal thing in fact.
It should be.
Three quiet knocks sound on the door followed by a pause, then one more knock. Lev’s signal.
When I get up to undo the chain—although I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t keep anyone out who really wanted to get in—I breathe a sigh of relief to see Lev standing there in his signature leather jacket, hair flopping over his forehead, and his warm chocolate brown eyes smiling down at me.
I push into him, wrap my arms around his middle, and feel myself let go, at least a little. I inhale loudly, trying to stifle a sob.
He wraps his arms around me and walks me backward into the room.
“Hey.” With a finger under my chin, he tilts my face up to his. “I’m sorry I’m so late.” He pauses, studying me. “You okay?”
I nod. “I am now that you’re here.”
“Did something happen?” His expression changes. “Is Josh—”
“He’s fine.” I point toward the bed, and in the darkness, I know he can see Josh’s little form under the blanket in the middle of the bed. “Sleeping.”
“That’s good.” He closes the door and locks it, then takes my hand and looks me over again like he’s making sure I’m okay.
“Why were you gone so long?”
He looks at the desk where the two empty little bottles of vodka sit. Going to the minibar, he opens it, then takes out another one of vodka and two of whiskey. He sits on the big armchair by the window and draws me down onto his lap.
Opening the vodka, he hands it to me.
I take it as he opens one of the whiskey bottles and drinks straight from it like I do mine.
“You already had a couple.” He gestures to the empties on the desk. “That’s not like you.”
“I was worried. I am worried.”
“I know. But it’s going to be okay. We’re going to get through this and have a life, Kat. You, me, and Josh.”
“What kind of life? Running from hotel to hotel?”
He shakes his head, finishes the first bottle, and then opens the second. “No. I’ll face Vasily head-on. He owes me some answers, and I owe him a bullet. And I won’t tuck tail and hide. What we’re doing now is to keep you and Josh safe and give me time to gather some ammunition. Get something on my uncle that’ll end this.”
“Like what?”
He finishes his second bottle. “I found the man I was looking for today.”
“Who? I didn’t know you were looking for someone.”
“His name is Maxim Sobol. He used to work for Vasily.”
“Lev, do you think that’s safe or even smart?”
Josh mumbles something and rolls over to his other side. We’ve been talking in whispers, but I realize my whisper just got pretty loud.
“Relax, sweetheart.” Lev tucks me against his chest and kisses the top of my head. “I think I may have