boxes that line a wall of his bedroom?
I talk to Berg daily, messaging through the tablet, but he’s not here.
I’m going insane from all these pregnancy hormones rushing through my body. I masturbate daily. Sometimes twice a day. I think I’m wearing out my vibrator. I keep having to charge it and the it seems to be working less and less effectively. It’s not as satisfactory as it used to be, like my body wised up and knows I’m playing tricks with a sorry substitute. Dammit.
Normally, a Hyrrokin female is with her bound during pregnancy, but I’m in a special situation where I’m carrying someone else’s baby. I have no bound. And the father isn’t here. I’ve learned that it’s considered difficult for a Hyrrokin female to be without her bound during her pregnancy and this isolation only occurs during extreme circumstances—the death of a male or some kind of need for the female to remain separated. Pregnant humans stay together with their husbands and significant others, I saw this all the time on New Earth. But on Tarvos they’re even more serious about it. Something to do with a hormonal need the female endures.
I have a feeling that no one thought I’d feel this need too, since I’m human and the baby I’m carrying isn’t mine. That’s why they’ve never mentioned a word about how I might feel needy for the touch of the father of this baby. But the need is there—the need for Bergelmir. How can that be? This baby isn’t even biologically mine.
I’m so embarrassed about it, though, I haven’t said a word to anyone. I haven’t told Riley or my surrogate group. None of them have mentioned feeling this way. They chatted about it recently, how relieved they all were to not be slammed that typical voracious sex drive while they’re carrying this gestational surrogate baby. The other five females in my group are all ladies with their own bounds, who’ve given birth to other children and found their pregnancies easy, so they decided to give birth to one or two more, for other citizens who couldn’t do this. Natural births are the most coveted because the health of the baby is the greatest.
And none of them have any kind of sex drive for the father of the embryo that was transferred to their womb. They only have their typical obsession for their bound in the home with them.
I’m the only one feeling this way, which of course makes me feel like a freak. I already stand out amongst them because I’m the only human, and they know I’m carrying the mysterious Bergelmir Touchstone’s baby. They all look at me eagerly like they’d love to pull me aside and grill me, but they’re all very confidential during our meetings, which I appreciate.
I do my research and discover that I’m actually the first documented human to carry a Hyrrokin baby full term. I asked the technician about this the last time I was at the med lab for a check-up. How could I have been so popular as a choice for surrogacy if there was no history of humans birthing Hyrrokin babies? She said it was because of Riley Anderson’s marriage to Aegir Touchstone. Humans are famous on Tarvos right now, and rare due to the immigration laws. And she said they’d done a full review of the “veracity of my womb” and considered my status as “neutral,” meaning humans were pretty much able to mate and breed with all other species.
“You’re natural breeders,” she smiled.
Yay, me?
So apparently everyone thinks I’ll have a terrifically healthy Hyrrokin baby. Although what’s weird is that each time I’ve gone to the med lab, the sonogram machine always seems to be off-line. I was able to hear the baby’s heartbeat, and they checked me and assured me that all the milestones are being met, but it would be nice to have a picture of the baby for Berg and his family. Oh well, I guess that can happen later? There’s still plenty of time.
I finish using the vibrator again, like I do every single morning, and finally get my ass out of bed. I turn on a sexy country music playlist and hop in the cleansing unit. I’m dancing around afterwards and getting dressed when I realize it’s about to stop, so I turn to walk out of the closet to restart it…when the music unexpectedly starts again on its own. Hmm. That’s weird. It must not have been over?
Eventually