came to me and said I got something big going on, but I can’t tell you what it is yet, I’d be okay with it. Because you mean a lot to me and nothing could stop me from having your back.”
“So, you got something big going on?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“But you can’t tell me what it is yet?”
“Yes. That’s right.”
“Then why not just tell me that?” he asks. “Why sneak around?”
I inhale to answer, but I can’t. I can’t fucking say it.
Seth nods. “Because there is something you could do that would stop me from having your back... and you did it, didn’t you?”
My gut clenches.
He knows.
How did he find out? How could I have been so stupid to let someone else tell him first? It should have come from me. Fucking hell, it needed to come from me.
“Don’t lie to me about it,” he says. “It’s written on your face right now.”
“Seth, I’m...”
“And don’t bother giving me an apology. I don’t want one.”
“If you’ll just let me explain—”
“You know, I expected this from one of the other guys, but you?” He shakes his head. “My roommate? My best friend?”
“I’m so sorry. We just...” I stop. How do I even explain this? “We didn’t plan it. It just happened.”
“How long has this been going on?” he asks.
“Since...” I close my eyes, ashamed. “Since the start of the semester.”
Seth scoffs and looks down at the floor.
“I met her on campus one night and I gave her a ride home and she—”
“Stop! Stop. I don’t...” He huffs loudly. “I don’t need the details.”
He paces in place in front of the door. I stay quiet, desperately trying to figure out what to say to make this better, but how?
How could I possibly make up for fucking his little sister behind his back?
“Of all the girls, why her?” he finally asks. “You can have anyone, man. It’s not like Jenna wasn’t giving it to you.”
I swallow hard. “I...”
“You knew how I felt about her.” He furrows his brow. “Why Bethany?”
My heart skips twice. “Bethany...”
Seth slinks toward his bed and sits down. “Harvey saw her sneak out the same way you did last night. I tried calling her, but she didn’t answer. I tried calling you, but... you didn’t answer. After the way you’ve acted this semester and all the dodging she’s done to me lately, it all just made sense.” He looks at me with sad, tired eyes. “You and Bethany are together.”
Don’t.
Don’t go with it.
Don’t dig yourself even deeper into this hole.
“Yeah,” I say, easing a step back. “Me and Bethany.”
“I guess I should have seen this coming,” he says. “She admitted to me once that the only reason she slept with me the first time was because she came to the room looking for you, but you were in class, so...” He turns up his hands. “What’s a girl to do, you know?”
I screw up my face with sympathy. “We didn’t know how to tell you,” I say.
You coward.
He nods. “It’s all right, Drew.”
“No, it’s not.” I take a step forward. “You’re right. I knew how you felt about her and it was wrong.”
“We were never exclusive,” he says. “I understand why you thought it was okay.”
“No, it wasn’t okay. It was never... okay. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have come to you before...” I shut my mouth before I dig too far. “Seth, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, I, uh...” His throat clears. “I’m sorry, too.”
“No, I’m really, really sorry. It won’t happen again. I swear. Beth and I are done. Over. Completely over.”
“I have a confession to make,” he blurts. “I did something that I have to get off my chest.”
I go quiet as Seth rises off his bed and stands tall.
“Last night,” he begins, “I was feeling a little raw and… I made what I now realize was a bad judgment call.”
I hang on every word, unable to predict where this is going now. “What did you do?” I ask.
Seth takes a breath. “After the dance, I spent the night with Tammy.”
“Tammy?” I repeat in surprise.
“Yes,” he says. “While you were with Bethany, I was here with Tammy. We slept together.”
“Really?”
“In your bed.”
I glance at it. Wrinkled sheets and ruffled pillows. “You don’t say…”
“It was a bad call,” he says. “I did it because I wanted to get back at you for flaking out and lying to me. It was wrong, and I know that now. I’m sorry.”
For Christ’s sake, man, put the shovel down.
“Seth...” I say as my pulse races.