Breeding Ceremony would afford me with her.”
He winces, as if embarrassed by himself and his intentions. “But then she tried to escape me. She ran, having no idea her plan would never have worked. Not because of my superior strength and speed, but because I would not have left that planet without breeding her. I would have searched every patch of red earth to find her, then razed her village to smoke her out if need be.”
D’Rek shakes his head. “As crazed as I had become over her, of course I hunted as soon as she gave chase. But when I caught her, when I finally had her underneath me, I knew with certainty that three hours would not be sufficient. That very first touch, the feel of her body against mine only strengthened the obsession—”
He breaks off, dropping his head, as if he’s in pain. “I am sorry, Ki’Ra, but saying these words to you…admitting my abject weakness when it comes to you…it is very difficult. Even saying it is difficult…is difficult.
How should I feel about this confession? Insulted? Yes, probably. Angered? Oh, most definitely.
But I can only shake my head, mute with shock. And I am no longer tired. The soul weariness has suddenly disappeared.
My quiet seems to encourage him to continue on with his strange third person version of our story. “She should be out of my system. She should no longer be my complete and utter weakness. Even she has reminded me that she is little more than a womb to me. Yet, I cannot make her words or my desire to be rid of this obsession true. I think of her so often, it feels like always. Not just thoughts of breeding her as I would if she were only a womb for my progeny as she believes. I think of her smile, and the way she explains her incomprehensible New Terrhan phrases to me. I like the way she molds her body to mine as we lay, and often pull her to me if she forgets to touch her skin to mine in this way. I…I do not completely understand this concept of love…”
He stops, once again raising his eyes. And this time he holds my gaze as he says, “But I know when you are not with me, Ki’Ra, I feel bereft. I enjoy you. Like your hu’man emotions. It is your hu’man I was and continue to be obsessed with, and I should never have attempted to turn you into a Xalthurian female. And this is why I, your Kel, have presented myself to you on my knees. To humbly apologize for my transgression. I can see now that I went too far.”
He waits for me to answer, only to furrow his ridges when he sees how I respond.
“Ki’Ra, you will tell me why your eyes are issuing water. My words were not intended to give you further offense.”
I shake my head, a strange urge to laugh, replacing the tears that sprang to my eyes during his unexpected apology. “That was beautiful…your words were beautiful.”
I can tell we’ve hit upon another cross point of cultural confusion by the way his ridges bristle. But then he smooths them and says, “You will tell me if my beautiful words are enough to make you forgive me.”
Are they? Are they enough to get me to stay?
“It’s just…you really hurt me,” I tell him, making a confession of my own. “Do you honestly think my kind is not intelligent? Beneath you?”
He stiffens. Then says, “I do not think you are unintelligent, Ki’Ra.”
Mmm-hmm. Don’t think I didn’t notice that careful you placement. “But my people are?” I ask, my voice becoming heated in ways I thought it never would again when I was dully staring at the wall.
“How would you even know that? Your people barely interact with mine except to give us supplies once a year and breed our twenty-one-year-old females without a translator. What little we know about each other are in those brief meetings. You don’t even allow hybrids to visit the planet they were birthed on. It would make sense for you to initiate some kind of cultural exchange as our people share offspring. But I’m sure that has never crossed the mind of the high and mighty Kel D’Rek.”
His ridges flatten in anger, and I wait for the imperious alien overlord to take back over. But instead of losing his shit, he lets out a long hissing breath and his ridges lower,