Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,70

amazing when I think about it. No one had ever been able to do it. Not even when I’ve touched myself.

And yet, I still don’t know what’s going to happen between us. I still don’t know if I’ll be able to get there continuously without that fantasy. I’m nervous and apprehensive and hopeful, all at once. I’m just a mess.

Carla is smiling at me, mistaking my quietness for something else. “Look at you!” She lets out a little chirp. “I think you’re in love.”

My mind snaps back to the present, and I focus on Carla’s face, wanting to deny it. But I can’t; she’s right. I’m falling in love with Lucian. But I’m doubting our relationship will ever be anything more than what it is--a contract for sex. And it hurts. “No I’m not,” I lie.

Carla laughs at me. “Don’t lie to me, Dah. I totally see it in you. The way you look when you talk about him, how you’ve been acting this past month. Your feelings definitely go beyond the boundaries of a Sub and her Dom. I should know, since the same thing happened to me.” She waves her hand at my face as if she’s fanning me 'cause I’m burning up. “Face it, Dah, you’re done for.”

“And you’re totally dumb,” I growl, causing her to laugh. “Seriously though, I don’t know what’s going on with us. You know when my contract is up, he can just find a new Sub, right?” A heavy weight presses down on my chest. That’s exactly what I keep thinking is going to happen. That he’s going to get tired of trying to heal me. Get tired of me being broken.

Carla frowns, put off by my pessimistic attitude. She finishes her chocolate milkshake and tosses the cup in the trash. It’s ten past one. Our lunch break is over. “Don’t say that, Dah. You have to have hope that things will turn out right.”

That’s the thing, I tell myself, as I finish off my burger and then get up to toss the rest of my meal in the trash, I don’t want to give myself a sense of false hope.

I spend the rest of the day going over emails and fashion designs in my office, ignoring everything and just focusing on work. I’m just about to close up and head down to the first floor to await my drive over to Lucian’s when I receive an unexpected call.

“Hello?” I answered in a guarded voice.

“Dah!” my mother’s raspy voice greets me with more pep than I remember. With how scratchy her voice is, I can tell she’s been hitting the cigs pretty hard lately, probably up to several packs a day. “Hey honey, how have you been?”

This is the first time in recent memory that I've been ecstatic that my mother’s called me. I haven’t heard from her in so long, her voice is like music to my ears. It should piss me off that I’m just now hearing from her, but I’m so happy to have someone to talk to. Maybe I can even get the courage to talk to her. She doesn’t know about my issues, but I could tell her about Lucian, even if it’s not real. I could tell her about the paper and that I’m in a relationship. I want to. I’m dying to talk about it. I don’t know why, but I just need to talk to her. “Hey Mom!” I greet her cheerfully, “I’ve been alright, how have you been?”

“Good, good. I’m glad you’re doing okay, honey. I’ve been worried about you.”

I smile. Mom seems like she’s called me with genuine concern. I open my mouth to start telling her about my situation, when she cuts me off with, “I got your text.” Her voice has dropped several octaves, signaling that her mood has shifted. “I can’t really help out in the money department right now,” she finishes.

If it weren’t so sad, I’d laugh. Figures she’d call when I most likely won’t need the help. I part my lips to tell her I should be set for a pretty good while, but then close them, realizing it’s probably not wise. I shouldn’t tell her about the money, which I haven’t received yet. Knowing my luck, she’d try to ask me for some, claiming I owed her a cut for birthing me into this world. And that money is just enough to pay off all my debt. Every cent of it. After taxes I’ll have a