Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,71

little left over while I’m waiting to start a real job, something that’ll actually pay me. “That’s alright, Mom. I worked things out with the school and everything will be fine.”

“Oh honey, I’m so happy for you,” Mom says, zero happiness in her voice. “I’m so glad you were able to fix things, I really hated having to turn you down.”

I want to say something nice in return, but I can’t find the words. She really doesn’t give me much to work with.

The call goes silent except for the atmospheric static.

“I’m going to see Todd for Christmas,” Mom announces when the silence stretches past fifteen seconds.

I perk up at the news. Even though I’m upset with her, I would love to see her. So much has gone on in my life since we last talked, it would be nice to enjoy each other’s company. And I still haven’t met Todd. I’d like to though. It seems like this must be serious between them.

“Do you want me to come, too?” I ask. In the back of my mind, I’m thinking about Lucian. Our thirty days will be over soon. My heart hurts thinking we could be over, too. Even if we aren’t, I don’t know if he’d want me around. After all, I’m his Sub. I have to keep reminding myself that.

And he has his own family, I tell myself, remembering the sister he’s mentioned to me that he cares so much about, even though he hates his parents. It’s something else we have in common. He feels like his parents have done him wrong and I feel likewise, and we both have such screwed-up pasts, though I’d argue mine is a bit more screwed-up than his. Well maybe not more, but different. I almost huff at a humorless chuckle at the thought. Still, Lucian’s past gives him special insight on my problem, helps him understand me. He knows what it feels like to be hurt by someone who claims to love you, to be betrayed by the very people you trust.

I hear my mother suck in a breath, bringing me back to the present moment, followed by a long pause. “I don’t think Todd wants anyone else coming,” she finally admits.

I sit there numbly, letting her words sink in. Why am I not surprised? I should’ve known better than to ask a question like that. At least she told me ahead of time. For Thanksgiving she told me she was spending it with Todd only a few weeks in advance, too. But that’s Thanksgiving, not Christmas. There’s a big difference. At least to me there is.

“Oh, that’s okay,” I say evenly. I’m not going to break down over this. I’m not going to break down over this. I have to repeat it over and over in my head.

“I’m really sorry, honey.” Surprisingly, I detect faint emotion in her voice. I ignore it, along with my own emotions threatening to consume me.

“It’s okay, really. I understand.” My voice is even, practically robotic.

“I’ll talk to you soon, okay? I have a plane to catch.”

“Yeah.” Before I can get in another word I hear the line go dead.

Click.

I sit there for a moment, staring at my desk, feeling empty inside. If I could’ve gotten over leaving Lucian for a while, this would’ve been the perfect time for Mom and I to bond, for her to listen to me and give me advice on my problems. But that was a fool’s fantasy. She hasn’t been here for me for so long, and she’s not about to start now. I need to get over it and let her come to me when she’s ready.

For now, I’ll just stay at my apartment for Christmas.

Alone.

Gathering my things, I walk out of my office and head down to the first floor, feeling the unhappiest that I’ve felt in a while.

Chapter 23

Lucian

She’s late. I came in, and somehow I already knew. When I opened the door and saw the empty bed, my breathing slowed, my blood cooled. Anger wasn’t there, but fear was.

She’s left me. I’m still standing in the doorway, trying to convince myself that I’m wrong. I know I am. I paid for her. She can’t leave me. My heart thuds once. She doesn’t care about the money. She never has. Not once has she mentioned it. But still. She’s not leaving me. My own insecurities are creeping in, and I shove them away.

She’s mine. I can take care of her. I am taking care of her.