the doctor he didn’t believe in psychological tests. He thought the tests done on him were invalid, he said, and he wasn’t sure anything in his file would be helpful.
“Therapy will be difficult because of this,” Patterson wrote. “Can he be reached without denial?”
On his way out the door, Donald warily agreed to take home a paper-and-pencil personality test.
COMPLETE THESE SENTENCES TO EXPRESS YOUR REAL FEELINGS. TRY TO DO EVERY ONE. BE SURE TO MAKE A COMPLETE SENTENCE.
I LIKE: FALCONRY, SEX, SWIMMING, TRAVEL, SKIING. COMMUNICATING
BACK HOME: IS A GOOD PLACE TO VISIT FOR A SHORT TIME.
MEN: SHOULD BE MORE FLEXIBLE IN THEIR THINKING.
A MOTHER: SHOULD CARE FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF HER CHILDREN.
I FEEL: TENSE.
MY GREATEST FEAR: NOT STICKING TO WHAT I ORIGINALLY WANTED.
IN SCHOOL: THERE’S THE BEST TIME OF A LIFE.
I CAN’T: SAY “I QUIT.”
SPORTS: DEVELOP CHARACTER
WHEN I WAS A CHILD: I STILL AM
I SUFFER: FROM SELF PITY (NOT MUCH)
I FAILED: CHEMISTRY
SOMETIMES: I DON’T CARE ENOUGH
WHAT PAINS ME: MOST ARE OTHER PEOPLE.
I SECRETLY: WANT TO BE HAPPY WHEN I’M ALONE.
I WISH: TOO MUCH.
MY GREATEST WORRY IS: DECIDING WHAT TO DO.
* * *
—
NOT QUITE A week later, on a Friday night in June, Donald and Jean had another fight. It was all the same conflicts all over again, but worse, more fraught than before. Things were bad enough that Jean walked out of their apartment. Donald followed her, and found her nearby, sitting low to the ground, near an irrigation ditch. Either she was trying to have some time alone, or she was trying to hide from him. But once he found her, Donald started talking about how he wanted to drown her.
Jean talked him out of it. They both made it back into the apartment, more or less together, though Jean did make one thing clear: She would be moving to Oregon without him.
The next day was Saturday morning. Donald was still upset about the fight—and about Jean’s decision to leave him after all. He took some mescaline, an experience that he later said not only offered him incredible insight, but helped him come up with the right response, the perfect plan.
That night—June 20, 1970—Donald came home with two cyanide tablets, procured, most likely, from a lab at the school. Donald dropped them into a glass of hydrochloric acid, took hold of Jean, and tried to hold her still—both of their faces above the glass as the cyanide misted into a gas.
The plan was for them to die together.
* * *
—
DONALD WAS A no-show for his next appointment. When Patterson opened the newspaper on Monday morning, he learned why.
Fort Collins Police: 10:20am Donald Kenyon Galvin, 24, of 27G Aggie Village was booked for protective custody in connection with an alleged suicide and possible homicide attempt. He was being held in city jail this morning on authority of the district attorney. He was first taken to the Colorado State University Student Health Center for treatment.
Donald’s plan hadn’t worked. Maybe he loosened his hold on Jean, or maybe his grip was never that strong to begin with. But she tore herself away, ran from the room hysterically, and called the police. After reading the report in the paper, Patterson found Donald at a hospital, where he’d been sent on a “confine and treat” order while the district attorney’s office decided whether to charge him or have him committed. Much to the doctor’s alarm, Donald still hadn’t seemed to have come down from the experience. As Donald talked, he came off as euphoric, even boastful—an unmasked comic book villain, crowing about how he’d fooled everyone for years. He talked about the time that he killed a cat, but this time instead of being terrified, he was almost gloating. He said he’d recently dismembered a dog in the bathtub, too, just to upset