from Thedes staying at the palace right now,” Hans said slyly, clearly not willing to put up with being ignored, even if that meant joining in on gossip that didn’t revolve around his favorite subject. Namely, himself. “…including a prince of marriageable age.” He smirked, adding, “I may have run into him, actually. Handsome fellow, and I dare say, the feeling seemed to be entirely mutual.”
Maja rolled her eyes, and frankly, Edvin doubted that last bit was true, too.
Well, okay, if he was honest, when Hans’s personality didn’t get in the way, the man was unfairly handsome, so… maybe? Because there actually was a prince from Thedes staying at the palace. Leo had mentioned him, and also said he was close friends with one of Leo’s brothers, Prince Julian. Edvin liked to think that meant the other prince would have better taste than to be attracted to someone like Hans, but he hadn’t actually met any of the other princes yet and certainly couldn’t swear to it.
Although honestly, knowing Hans and his tendency to exaggerate things for his own benefit, “running into him” could very well just be an arrogant way of stretching a truth like “I saw him drive past in a car one day.” There was no way Leo was going to be marrying a prince from Thedes, though. He was going to marry Edvin.
At least… hopefully.
“Leopold prefers women,” the director said, flippantly dismissing Hans’s theory.
Hans glowered.
“But there have been rumors that Princess Vera of Brachenstein will be attending the Royal Ball,” the director went on. “And Princess Amirah is here in Alpina for the anniversary celebration, too. And apparently, there was also a sighting of—”
“Well, I think it’s horrible,” Maja cut in before the director could finish listing all the people-who-were-not-Edvin that the prince could potentially announce his engagement to, leaning over the counter of the circulation desk. “No one should be required to marry out of duty.”
She shot a conspiratorial look in Edvin’s direction, but he wasn’t sure why. On the one hand, of course he didn’t want Leo to marry him out of duty, but… but Leo was doing exactly that, wasn’t he? After all, it wasn’t like their unlikely pairing would have come about if Leo hadn’t had that ultimatum from the king and queen. So maybe, selfishly, Edvin should be grateful that Leo had a duty to marry.
Oh shizzle. It was true. Edvin was grateful… just like he’d been grateful when he’d gotten attention from Hans. When someone so out of his league had deigned to notice him, spend time with him, want him. And of course he would have preferred to have his handsome prince fall head over heels for him instead of choosing him simply because he had to, but Edvin’s preferences had never had all that much influence on how life worked, and the end result… well, the end result was the best month of Edvin’s life.
Edvin pressed a hand against his stomach, feeling a little sick. It felt all sorts of wrong to compare anything about his relationship with Leo to the one he’d had with Hans. Even if he felt wracked with doubts and insecurities now, when he was actually with Leo, everything felt right and clear and obvious and… and solid, and it had never felt that way with Hans.
But of course it hadn’t, because everything was different with Leo.
Unless… unless it wasn’t?
What if it turned out that Edvin really was a fool? That he was as wrong about Leo’s feelings for him as he’d been about Hans’s? Or worse—a hundred thousand million times worse—what if Maja was right, and it wasn’t fair to Leo to make him settle for marrying someone like Edvin out of duty alone? Because yes, Edvin loved him, but love, real love, was never selfish, it was about wanting what was best for the other person… and when, in the history of ever, had what was best for someone else ever been Edvin?
Edvin’s throat got tight. He swallowed to try to clear it, but it was no use. Even with his siblings, who he’d lay down his life for, he’d always known he wasn’t the best choice. Their parents had been that. Edvin had just been the available choice. But he’d never, not once, felt like he was what they really needed, and certainly not everything they deserved.
Did he really want to go through with a marriage where he felt that way, too?
He adjusted his glasses, blinking quickly when his eyes started