you do,” Oliver cut in, which was irritating but Edvin’s own fault for not being able to control his tongue when he got stressed. Oliver gave his shoulders a squeeze, then dropped his arm, adding, “Besides, you can do better than that douchebag.”
Edvin sighed. No, he really couldn’t. Even without perfect vision, he could see that Hans looked as polished and dapper as he always did, and anyone who bothered to give the matter any thought would agree that a stuttering little mouse like Edvin was never going to do better than the confident, outgoing, magazine-attractive Hans Luford, Head Curator for the Royal Library’s Rosarian Historical Archives.
Well, maybe not anyone, since all Edvin’s siblings were in fierce disagreement with that fact, but that was different because they were family and Edvin loved them for their blind loyalty. Still, it was true. Even Hans knew it, as evidenced by the fact that he’d apologized for exactly that when he’d broken up with Edvin so abruptly.
And even if the apology had hurt a little at the time—because who wanted the fact that he’d been dating out of his league pointed out mid-break up?—the very fact that he had apologized had to mean something, didn’t it? Meant that despite all evidence to the contrary, maybe he did care about Edvin’s feelings, at least a little bit?
Edvin stifled another sigh, knowing it was a stretch, but the truth was that he did miss Hans. Well, he missed having a boyfriend, at least. Being one half of a couple. He missed sex, too, if he was being honest, even though the thought made him flush with embarrassment given the conversation he’d accidentally overhead between Hans and one of his coworkers the week before.
He’d stopped by Hans’s office to return some personal items but left without completing his mission when he’d realized Hans was in the middle of telling the other man how “boring” Edvin had been… both in and out of the bedroom. Luckily, Hans hadn’t realized Edvin was there—that would have been humiliating—but it was better to know how he really felt, wasn’t it? It meant Edvin had something to work on. If Hans would just give him another chance, he could do better, he was sure of it.
“Stop thinking about him,” Oliver said with disturbingly insightful accuracy, shoulder bumping Edvin as he tugged on the cuffs of his borrowed suit. “Let’s talk about the royals. Did you find out which one is coming?”
“One of the p-p-p-princes,” Edvin said absently, scanning the room to make sure everything was going smoothly and definitely not thinking about how, according to Hans, Edvin really should have been a more experienced lover at twenty-three. Hans had said it a little more crudely, but that was what it had boiled down to. And it wasn’t that Edvin disagreed, but given that he’d been the sole legal guardian for his four younger siblings for the last five years, when had he had the time? Still, even he could admit that it was kind of pitiful that Hans was the only boyfriend he’d ever had, but honestly, how was he supposed to get that experience if he didn’t have someone to, erm, practice with… and how was he supposed to find that someone to practice with when he was always either working or taking care of his siblings as he tried in vain to fill his late parents’ shoes?
Hans had been perfect—or at least perfect-adjacent—since he’d needed Edvin’s help to whip the archives into shape. It had meant that they’d had plenty of time to spend together without it compromising Edvin’s job or his responsibilities at home, and given that his youngest sister, Astrid, was only fifteen, those responsibilities at home weren’t going to go away any time soon.
And neither, Edvin hoped, would his job, since not only did it allow him to support his siblings, but he also happened to adore it.
“Eddie, forget him,” Oliver said with another, much harder, shoulder bump. “Let’s talk about the drool-worthy princes instead. Which one is coming?”
“F-f-forget who?” Edvin asked disingenuously, snatching up a fancy blueberry truffle from a tray held by a server who just happened to be passing between where he and Oliver were standing and where Hans was laughing at something the library trustee had said.
Edvin shoved it in his mouth. See? He’d just been hungry. Not pining.
Oliver rolled his eyes and grabbed two of the truffles before the server could get away, popping one in his mouth as he tugged