at Blaise, frowning.
“It smells like...trees,” I say.
His eyes widen, and then it seems to hit us both what this must mean. We rush forward, as fast as we can safely go, and see a light ahead of us. Heart in my throat, I keep going until we step out into the bright light of day. I blink against the darkness and breathe in the scents of nature, carried by a cool and pleasant breeze.
We’ve done it. We’ve escaped.
When my vision comes back into focus, I keep going, walking beneath the trees with their heavy branches of leaves. But I don’t care about the beauty of this world, I’m searching for my brother. For Andros.
But he’s nowhere to be found.
My heart beats faster, and my hands feel clammy. “Andros! Andros!”
He has to be here. We’ve done everything we were told. There is no world in which he would still be in the Underworld, and our mate half-dead in my arms.
“Andros!” Blaise calls, and his voice waivers. “Andros!”
There’s no answer. We search and we search. We wait and we wait. But he never appears.
When darkness falls, I lie with my arms wrapped around Hecate’s still form. Blaise had built a fire and lays beside me. He doesn’t speak, which I’m glad about, because my heart can’t take my failures.
He makes us food, which I don’t eat. He carefully spoons soup and water into Hecate’s mouth, but I’m not certain she gets any of it at all. The beautiful witch looks... dead. My brother seems lost.
And my purpose...it’s gone.
I stand.
“Don’t!” Blaise says. “Don’t you fucking think about it.”
“We didn’t save him. We can’t save her.” My words sound numb, even to my own ears.
Blaise stands then moves in front of me, blocking my view of the flames. “First of all, we don't know that Andros didn’t return or that Hecate won’t wake up. You’re going back to that dark place again, and I won’t allow it. You hear me?”
My entire chest aches. “I’ve lived for so long. My only purpose was to keep my brother safe. And then it was to keep my mate safe. I’ve failed, on both accounts.”
He shoves me, and I’ve never seen him this angry before. “How about me, you asshole? I’m here too. I’m in this Brotherhood, just as much an Andros is. Do I not matter to you?” He pounds his chest with each word, and his voice rises until he’s screaming, the veins in his neck sticking out.
“You do,” I say lamely, hating myself even more.
In fact, he matters so much to me that I refuse to shackle him down with me any longer. Blaise is so good, so wonderful, so full of life. He deserves better than me.
He shoves me again. “And what’s more, it doesn’t matter if we live forever if we don’t enjoy our lives. So instead of giving into that darkness inside of you, step out into the light with me. Let’s find a way to live, no matter how the cards fall right now.”
I stare at him, but I can’t seem to see him.
“Do you think this is what Andros would want?”
“Don’t…” His words hurt something deep inside of me.
“It isn’t. Now lay down with Hecate and protect her. She didn’t abandon us when things got bad, so we aren’t abandoning her. Understand?”
I look down at my mate. The dying witch who carries my brother’s baby.
The darkness calls to me, urging me to be free from all this pain, from all this loss. It plays over the years upon years of loneliness and suffering. I’ve experienced everything already. Everything except a mate and a child. Everything except a true Brotherhood in this new time.
My legs feel numb when I sit back down. “Alright,” I say.
“Tomorrow,” Blaise says, his voice certain and angry. “We go to Andros’s body and see if instead of the body coming to his soul, if his soul went to his body.”
It’s not the way the legends say. It isn’t logical in any way. But I lay down next to Hecate and hold her cold body tightly. Tomorrow, tomorrow we’ll know the truth.
25
Blaise
We fly until we near the woods, then touch down. We have to walk the rest of the way to his brother’s body, but I’m already breathless. Not because of flying all day, but because I’m truly afraid of what will happen if Andros hasn’t come back to life.
Hecate hasn’t improved.
Orion isn’t speaking, sleeping, or eating.
I’m afraid of what my future will hold, because I’m beginning